Third Quarter 2011

I've mentioned before that I resolved to make a resolution a month for 2011, as opposed to a Yearly Resolution. 

This is the story of the Third Quarter.

July: Read a Proverb a Day

I undertook such a massive resolution for June (you can read that here and here), that as July crept closer, I was having resolution-block. I couldn't think of anything that seemed interesting, or in the least bit productive. I knew I couldn't give up at the halfway mark, but I was at a loss. Now, not to sound too much like a religious zealot, but I turned where I usually do when I'm at a crossroads: the Bible. I decided that if I opened to Proverbs and they had 31 chapter exactly (I know, I should know this), I would read one chapter a day for the month of July. Well, as luck, or King Solomon, would have it... there are exactly 31 chapters! So, for every day of July, I read one chapter of Proverbs... and I saw a few recurring themes:

1. You can't argue with a fool.

2. Your parents are smarter than you think.

3. Watch your tongue.

4. What is important to you when you're young and what is important to when you are older could not be more different.

I have often resolved to read the whole Bible through in a year, and I have yet to do so. This actually motivated me to try it, but on a more relaxed scale.

August: Be Healthier

For August, I decided to take on another health conscious resolution. To make sure I covered all my bases, I simply resolved to "be healthier." I would have to admit that this was, and all future similar resolutions will most likely be, a failure. It is just not my nature to decisively eat healthy, exercise, bla bla bla. I am not terribly unhealthy (I'm in the lower end of my weight range and I do monitor the spoonfuls of Crisco I eat)... but I detest working out. I actually detest vegetables and working out... which severely limits my "be healthier" options. I went to the gym a few times, I ate more salad than usual... I'd call it a wash.

September: Identify Myself

For those of you who care, or may not know, I re-entered the dating world this past January, after almost 4 years out of the game. I didn't really start dating again until this month, September. I realized the first thing people want to know is, "What do you like to do?" or "What are you interested in?" I always thought I knew the answers to these questions. But once I really examined my life, I realized that so many of my so-called "hobbies" were tied to a friend or ex-boyfriend. So this month, at the risk of getting a little too Eat, Pray, Love-ish, I decided to rediscover myself. For the most part, I was who I thought I was. My passions? They vary from day to day really. But you know what I really like to do? Be happy. I like to be inspired. I like to find something so funny that I laugh even when I am all by myself. I like to get caught up in a book to the point that I miss the fictional characters more than I do my real-life friends.Sometimes I like to watch mindless comedies, and sometimes I enjoy a foreign film with subtitles. I contradict myself daily, but I think that's okay. People that say "never" and "always" and limit themselves are usually miserable, because they don't allow themselves to grow or change. Wow... am I on a soapbox? I think I am getting away from myself. Back to task: My resolution for September was to discover who I am, and I think it was a success. I'm just Jessica.

Second Quarter 2011

As I have previously stated, I do not make New Year's Resolutions, but Monthly Resolutions. 

You can view the first quarter's goodies here.

Below are the resolutions I tackled in the second quarter of what is shaping up to be a wonderful year.

April: Eat More Vegetables

There are few things in life that I can say with 100% certainty: Dr. Pepper is superior to Mr. Pibb. Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. Rainbow flip-flops are the greatest shoes ever invented. One statement near the top of that list is that I do not eat vegetables. Sure, I may eat the occasional bean, a starchy potato or corn dish... but green? Leafy? Fresh from dirt? No. Never. (Back-story) I used to hate water. My theory was that water tasted like air, and I didn't want to drink air. Then, 7 years ago, I resolved to drink only water for 40 days (Lent), and by day 40, I craved water. Still love it. So, I thought that if I crammed vegetables down my throat for a month, I'd develop a taste and be better for it. Eh, not so much. I ate broccoli. It was gross. I ate cauliflower. I gagged. I ate a cucumber. My eyes watered. Now granted, being that I am 27 and have never eaten most of these (barring they were smothered in cheese, or someone snuck them in without my knowledge), there is a good chance that I was eating the wrong parts of these foods (is it the stem or the "tree top" that is eaten on broccoli? I tried, and hated, both.). But, nevertheless, I tried the vegetables at every meal that I could... and if nothing else, it kept me from eating mashed potatoes every day. Surprisingly, I did find that I enjoy spinach. Not the slimy, someone-already-chewed-this, glop mess that people eat... but the actual spinach leaves. So, I suppose it wasn't a complete waste.

May: Just Say Yes

I told a friend of mine that my resolution for May was to Just Say Yes. He seemed to think this was a terrible idea that would get me in a ton of trouble with sex, drugs, and, I don't know, rock and roll? However, being that I don't live on the tour bus of a 60's metal band, this month was exceptionally fun and eye-opening. I wouldn't say I come from a place of no (RHONYC reference!!), but I also wouldn't kid myself into thinking that I live in the middle of yes-town either. I have an image in my mind of who I am and what I do, and I tend to not venture out of that comfort zone. Especially when said venture could bring me to be around people that are missing teeth or wearing Nascar shirts. (I'm a snob, but I own it.) But this month, I decided I was going to "Just Say Yes." Here are the results:

The first weekend in May, my roommate asked me to go to a local craft fair. It was outside, in the humid Alabama spring. I would have rather stayed in and watched my Friends Season 4 DVDs, but I "Just Said Yes," and ended up finding a beautiful purse that I gave my mom for Mother's Day. And my roommate and I had a great day... doing something different.

The second weekend in May, I went to Nashville for a friends Bachelorette trip. Two guys asked for my number, and I would usually say no right away... because I could never "talk" to a guy that I met in a bar... what kind of love story is that? But, I "Just Said Yes," and they were both actually terribly nice, normal people. Granted, I came home, Facebook stalked one of them (don't judge me), and found out he was 20 and in town playing Ultimate Frisbee. But, that's neither here-nor-there.

The third weekend in May, I had a friend that was racing at a local drag strip. Now, this drag strip is in a part of my state that I have never been. Never planned to go. But, I "Just Said Yes." I could have died, and on my death bed, I would have proudly proclaimed, in my last breath, "I have never been to the Steele Drag Strip... I have lived a classy life." Well, now, I will have to think of a new deathbed proclamation, but I made some wonderful, hilarious, memories with my closest friends. I'll admit, this hilarity was mostly at the expense of people with missing teeth and Nascar shirts, but again, that's neither here-nor-there.

The last weekend in May, Memorial Day weekend, I went on another "out of my comfort zone" journey. We made plans to go float down the Cahaba, which I had heard of people doing, and it sounded fun. But then our EC (event coordinator) let me know that this in the backwoods outside of Wilton (what??). Immediately, I heard dueling banjos and wondered what I had agreed to. But we went, and again, laughed all day at people that were missing teeth or holding beer coolers as if they were their only child. But it was wonderful.

At the end of this month, I felt more of a "now I can say I did it," as opposed to, "I'm proud to say I've never been there," so I would say it was a complete success.

June: No Shopping/30 for 30 Challenge

It was fast approaching the end of May, and I still had not thought of anything to take on for June. I wanted it to be something good... something daring... something more interesting than "work out"... and I just didn't want to work out. So I asked my bestest friends to submit suggestions and I would choose from those. A friend directed to a website that explained the 30 for 30 Challenge... which in a nutshell is this: you pick 30 pieces from your wardrobe, and make 30 outfits, in 30 days. You can read, in probably more detail than you want, about the pieces I picked, the first 15 outfits, and the last 15, in older posts. I had a great time doing it, and would suggest it to any fellow shopaholic. It made me appreciate the clothing I already own, and above all else, taught me how to use the belts and scarves that I buy but scarcely wear. I actually put thought into the outfits I was choosing, and it made me feel more confident in my appearance. Plus, the no-shopping saved me a few bucks, and kept me from buying a black dress for a wedding, when I already own 10. No joke. Success.

30 for 30 Challenge - Outfits (16-30)

In case you stumbled upon this by mistake, you'll need to go here and here to get the back story behind what would otherwise seem like a narcissistic list of what I wear. 

Now... on to Outfits 16-30, and the conclusion to my 30 for 30 Challenge.

Outfit 16 - I chose this simply as a work outfit- dark wash jeans with the tan tank and black cardigan - pretty casual... but pairing it with the black pumps brought the dressy factor up a notch. Like I said, I chose this because it is typical work attire. However, I ended up re-donning it later that evening when a close friend needed a night on the town to forget their bad day. So, I found that it actually transitioned from day-wear to evening-wear (I suppose?) pretty well.

Outfit 17 - Outfit 17 was for a Saturday (Outfit 16 was a Thursday, but I wore a repeat on Friday... sue me), and I don't usually wear a lot of "Outfits" on Saturdays. I am usually in a bathing suit or pajamas all day... but I was going to watch a movie and eat pizza with some friends, and I thought I'd spare them the sight of my two-sizes-too-big-someone-left-them-at-my-apartment-in-college Polo pajama pants, and actually put on clothes. I wore my seafoam sheer shirt and matching cami with khaki shorts and gold and tan sandals. Nothing special, but definitely a step up from the alternative. And I do love that shirt.

Outfit 18 - Sundays are my favorite days for creating Outfits. I love to dress up... but I am also pretty (very) lazy when it comes to my appearance. But Sundays have always been my wear-a-pretty-dress day. For this particular Sunday, I wore my Calvin Klein khaki dress, which I love, and my black pumps. This dress comes with a belt, but I swapped it this day for a black ribbon belt that I have. I loved this outfit. I am most at peace in neutrals, and this was a classic combo of black and khaki.

Outfit 19 - This is probably the most unlike-me Outfit I've worn since starting this Challenge. For one, I don't usually do layers... I mean I will wear a cardigan, but I don't usually layer shirts or tanks that are the same. I see people wearing a tee with a tee over it with a cardigan and a scarf, and all I can think of is Joey Tribbiani saying, "Could I BE wearing anymore clothes?" But for this day, I stepped outside my comfort zone and layered my white tank and tan tank and wore a scarf that brought them together. I paired them with my gold and tan sandals and my dark wash jeans cuffed. I looked like a hipster, in my opinion.

Outfit 20 - I'll admit... I'm getting ready and desperate to wear the rest of my closet... but I can see the end of June on my calendar, so I must persevere. I realized on the morning of Outfit 20, that there were still pieces that had not been worn. So on this day I wore my dark wash jeans with my rose and tan shirt and nude pumps. It was a simple Outfit, but that shirt is a statement piece (for me, anyway... I don't do loud clothes), and I don't even wear a lot of jewelry with it. The detail on the neckline is just beautiful. It is really one of those pieces that I literally bought the second I saw it. Love at first sight.

Outfit 21 - I've worn my regular wash jeans and white blousy top together before with the tan and gold sandals, but this time I paired it with my tan and white cardigan. I really like wearing these two shirts together. It's something about the length of the blouse versus the length of the cardigan, or the differences in fabric... I don't know, but it never disappoints.

Outfit 22 - Outfit 22 fell on another mundane, regular workday. I chose my trusty navy blue dress and paired with the lime green cardigan and tan and gold sandals. It's a cute combo and some of the women at work complimented me. That's all I really have about that.

Outfit 23 - There is something you should know about me, and you may have already picked up on: There are days in my life when I could literally not care any less about how I look. This was one of those mornings. I got up and jogged (don't ask me why... I act impulsively sometime), and if you knew me at all, you would be asking yourself now, "Did you pass out?" Well, no... but I was exhausted. So I took a nap, after my jog, and woke up about 10 minutes before I usually leave. I wore my olive green shirt with regular wash jeans and tan and gold sandals. I actually looked fine and normal, but I assure you... no extra effort went into my appearance that day.

Outfit 24 - Outfit 24 was a "Going Out" Outfit. I don't have many of those, because feel that it is inappropriate to judge people for being somewhere if you're in the same place. So I usually stay home and judge through Facebook. Kidding! Kidding! Nonetheless, this night, we had arranged a girls' night of sorts, and went downtown. I wore my black tank and gold cardigan with dark wash jeans and black pumps. I liked this Outfit, but I will admit that this was the night I most missed the rest of my closet. If this had been day 4 or 5, there's a chance I would have just given up.

Outfit 25 - I wore Outfit 25 for maybe 4 hours. A friend of mine was married about a month and half ago, and she is still returning gifts... so I accompanied her, and then we grabbed a bite to eat. I like when I actually get to create outfits for something other than work. For this outing, I wore my white shorts and pink 3/4 shirt with the tan and gold sandals.

Outfit 26 - Outfit 26 started off my last workweek under the challenge. This Outfit is actually really similar to Outfit 1... My peach shirt and dark wash jeans... okay, fine... it's the exact Outfit except for shoes. On my first day, I wore my nude pumps, but for this Outfit I chose tan and gold sandals. But wearing flats as opposed to heels does completely change the look and feel of an outfit. 

Outfit 27 - I wanted to wear the navy blue dress again before my Challenge was over. So, on this day I paired it with my nude pumps and a tan and white scarf. I am really into neutrals this week.

Outfit 28 - Outfit 28 was worn to a softball game in the evening of the same day as Outfit 27 (I wasn't wearing a dress and heels to a ball field). I chose my white tank with tan and white cardigan with the white shorts and tan and gold sandals. I stayed relatively comfortable in the Alabama summer night.... other than the fact that my hair looked like Roseanna Roseannadanna after the second game.

Outfit 29 - I can't believe tomorrow will be my last day for the "30 for 30." I really caught my second wind around Outfit 27, and planned the remaining outfits all at once. Outfit 29 fell on a normal, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary workday. I wore my white denim mini with the tan tank and green cardigan. I had paired it with my tan sandals from yesterday (and most other days), but swapped them at the last minute for my black sandals. I wanted to wear these black and green earrings I bought in the Bahamas, and these just didn't see enough playing time.

Outfit 30 - Wow. I did it. I created 30 Outfits with only 30 Pieces of clothing. I am really proud of myself, and also really ready to wear something, anything, else. My last Outfit fell on a bittersweet day. I had to attend the "funeral" (I hate that word!) of a dear woman I knew. I didn't want to wear black, because I am not in mourning (I know where she is!) so I wore my khaki dress and nude pumps, and of course my MVP belt from Gap. I loved this Outfit, and it seemed fitting to close out my challenge with all neutrals... proving that this Challenge has only reinforced what I really like as far as fashion is concerned..... classics.

What have I learned? Most importantly: how to accessorize. I have always been a strict less-is-more girl, and this challenge showed me that the occasional belt or scarf can complete an outfit as opposed to overpowering it.

Did I pick the right pieces? For the most part, yes. There were a few shirts that I didn't enjoy as much as I thought, and I would have swapped those for some additional skirts or dresses.

Would I do this again? Yes... but probably not for a while. I need to buy a lot of new clothes before I attempt a second go.

Would I suggest this to my friends? Absolutely. I am glad I did it and can say I stuck with it. It will definitely make you appreciate your clothes.

30 for 30 Challenge - (Outfits 1-15)

I blogged earlier about the 30 for 30 Challenge that I was doing for the month of June. I already introduced you to the 30 pieces in play, and I thought I'd split my outfits into two posts. 

Note, for information, and so you'll be jealous: I can wear whatever I want to work... dresses, jeans, heels, sandals... I usually try to keep it cool and casual, but pulled together... there are literally people here that wear souvenir t-shirts and sneakers everyday. 

Outfit 1 - I started off my 30 for 30 Challenge with a simple shirt/jeans combo. I paired the peach shirt with my dark wash jeans, and wore my nude pumps. I wore simple pearl jewelry, as I didn't want to over-accessorize right off the bat. I wore this to work, and then church that evening.

Outfit 2 - For my second day on the clothing diet, I chose the blue dress with the tan and white cardigan. I wore my tan sandals. I wore this to work, then came home and put on pajamas, which were really cute but I don't have to report here!

Outfit 3 - Day 3 fell on a Friday... a Friday that started off a busy weekend for me. It also presented me with a problem: I had a wedding rehearsal that night, but I had to work during the day. Now, it is June in Alabama, and that means it is hot. I don't mean, "Oh it's hot out." I mean, "It is freaking 100 degrees at 5 pm." So, I couldn't wear the rehearsal outfit to work, or I would just be... gross... by the time I arrived at the rehearsal. So I asked myself, "Does this challenge say anything about wearing only one outfit per day? Or can you repeat outfits, as long as at the end of the challenge, you have worn 30 outfits in public, and used all 30 pieces?" Then I remembered that this is not the Olympics. If I quit this tomorrow, most likely that no one would even care. So I answered myself that the latter question was correct. And then I chose an olive green shirt and white denim mini, and wore my tan sandals to work.

Outfit 4 - Then, after work, I came home, cleaned up, and put on a black tank with my purple skirt and black heels. I wore a glass necklace that I bought at a Premiere Jewelry party. It really goes well with this skirt, and I thought it would "springtime" up the black tank. I was please with the outfit.

Outfit 5 - That next day, I had two weddings... One I was just attending, but was singing at the other, so I wore my black Gap dress and black pumps with a long pearl necklace. Subdued and conservative, I know... but I've always been told that soloists at weddings should wear black, so I did. I actually got many, many compliments. (Side note: I bought this dress at a Gap sale... $6. Thank you, thank you very much.)

Outfit 6 - This is my favorite outfit so far (I am aware it is only day 6). I wore the aforementioned purple skirt, but this time I paired it with my go-to white top that has the braided detail around the neck and the sheer overlay. I wore it with a belt I got at Gap (same sale as the dress) and my nude pumps. I was singing in church that morning, and wasn't sure if I'd be wearing a choir robe, so I wanted to look good. And, I think I did.

Outfit 7 - I decided at the last minute that I would go to my church's evening service, so I wore my classic regular wash jeans with that morning's white top and my tan sandals. I paired it with the same tan belt. (Spoiler alert: I wore it the next day to work, too. Don't judge.)

Outfit 8 - After I wore the exact same clothes Sunday night and Monday... day, I knew I couldn't repeat another outfit so early in the game. I chose a shirt I had not worn (in this challenge) yet, the pinky, peachy, ruffly top, which is the single most girly piece of clothing I own... paired with my dark wash jeans and nude heels. Nothing terribly inspiring, but whatev. Just a day at the office.

Outfit 9 - Wednesday was the day for Outfit number 9, and Wednesday is always a busy day for me. I  usually try to dress "up" a little, just because I will be going straight from work to church, and I feel the need to not want to look like a slob. I chose the sheer green hippie shirt with matching camisole and paired it with my white denim mini and tan and gold sandals. I was actually really pleased with this combo. I have never, in this challenge or otherwise worn this outfit, although I've had all these pieces for a while. I was pleasantly cool, even though the shirt is long sleeve (I did however roll the sleeve to three-quarters), and the arm coverage helped balance out the leg I was showing (which was nothing to write home about, being that my whole body is barely 5 feet tall).

Outfit 10 - This may be my new favorite. I still am a big fan of Outfit 6, but today's outfit is rising fast... and making me wish I had chosen more dresses. Today, I chose the navy blue dress with the tan and gold sandals. I paired it with what is soon becoming the MVP of this challenge: my on-sale-at-Gap tan belt. I have a few events coming up where I am going to have to double down on outfits in one day, and this one will for sure be making a repeat appearance.

Outfit 11 - I've passed the 10 day mark, and so far, no regrets with the pieces I chose. Outfit 11 fell on a Friday, which is an even more casual work day. I usually dress as I would any other day, but I slept late, and just couldn't care less about picking out a cute outfit. I wore my regular wash jeans with the pink 3/4 button up shirt and tan sandals. I cuffed the jeans, and the whole outfit looked effortless (which it completely was) and cute.

Outfit 12 - We have a music festival (and I am using that term generously) in my hometown each year. Sometimes we actually get bands that you really like....d when you were 13. But nevertheless, it is a good chance to people watch and eat free food. It's hot out, but you may see people that you haven't seen in a while, so I always want to be comfortable, but not at the sake of looking cute. For this, I chose my white shorts and white tank and wore the gold sleeveless cardigan and handy dandy tan belt. I of course wore my gold and tan sandals which are proving to be invaluable. I was cute, comfy, and cool... once the sun went down about 8 pm.

Outfit 13 - For Outfit 13, it was a church day, so I chose my black Calvin Klein dress and paired it with my red pumps. I tied a red sash (that came off another dress that I almost chose as one of the 30), and I ended up wearing it all day. I usually change into more casual clothes for evening services, but I was singing, so I kept the dress on all day. That was just FYI.

Outfit 14 - I realized that I was focusing on the same pieces, or so it seemed, and that I had a few shirts that had yet to even be worn. So for Outfit 14, I wore my dark wash jeans again, but paired it with my black tank  and black and white rose cardigan, which I had not worn this month. I wore my black flat sandals, in what I think may have been their debut appearance as well! I love this cardigan, and I always get tons of compliments on it... I'm not sure why I don't wear it more often.

Outfit 15 - What I am enjoying most about this experience is falling in love with clothes that I was "just friends" with before. For instance, my navy dress... I always liked it... but I felt it was either too casual or too dressy for whatever occasion was at the time. But I wore it for Outfit 15, and paired it with a bright scarf and gold and tan sandals. I loved it. This dress is quickly becoming one of my favorite pieces. And it was a complete afterthought. I actually had another pair of shoes, and swapped them at the last minute. I am so glad I did. 

30 for 30 Challenge - Pieces

I started my 30 for 30 challenge today.

If you are not familiar with this, go here.

Last night, I chose 30 pieces of clothing, including shoes... but not accessories (jewelry, belts, etc.). From these pieces, I will wear a different outfit every day for 30 days.

For now, here is a list of the 30 pieces in play:

(left to right, top to bottom of the photo... if I can remember the "maker," I will list that as well... click for full picture)

red patent pumps (Worthington)

pink ruffly top

black tank with eyelet detail at the neck (Banana Republic)

green cardigan with ruffle edging (Old Navy)

black dress (Gap)

nude pumps (Tahari)

khaki shorts (J.Crew)

peach top with sheer overlay and zipper detail (Gap)

purple skirt with pick-up detail

white denim mini (Gap)

pink button up shirt (Old Navy)

tan tank (Gap)

white shorts (J.Crew)

navy blue dress

white tank (Gap)

regular wash jeans (Gap)

black cap sleeve cardigan or vest or whatever

seafoam sheer shirt (Gap)

dark wash jeans (Gap)

white top with braided detail at neck

black pumps

khaki dress with belt (Calvin Klein)

seafoam cami (Gap)

tan shirt with rose and tan embellishment at neck (Banana Republic)

black sandals

olive green cap sleeve shirt (Gap)

gold cardigan or vest or whatever {what are these called??}

tan and gold sandals (Kensie Girl)

black and white rose print cardigan

tan and white cardigan (Gap)

I will post all the outfits that are created!!

To the guy that sits beside me...

You can say "phew" as many times and as loudly as you want.

I will never ask you what happened.

First Quarter 2011

I don't make New Year's Resolutions.

I understand my limits, and I acknowledge that I won't stick with it for more than a month.

So, I make a resolution each month.

These were my resolutions, and the outcome of such, for the first quarter of 2011.

January: Cut Back on Celebrity Gossip

Note that this says Celebrity Gossip and not Celebrity News. I still enjoy reading stories of who got married or divorced, or who had a baby... or especially who died (I know, issues). But I was tired of reading all the stories that I knew were probably false, however juicy they may be. I completed this resolution by deleting my subscription to Perez Hilton's blog. There is no telling how much time and energy I wasted reading that mean man's opinion of celebrities. The thing was, I didn't like or agree with 90% of what he said, but I had gotten addicted to reading and knowing everything that was out there, no matter the source. I decided that the wanting to know wasn't necessarily the problem, but I had to watch where I was getting my fix. I now only read more reputable and positive websites. Deleting that negativity that comes from reading a grown man call a woman fat or draw lude pictures on a man's face... I can't tell you how much lighter my RSS Feed has gotten :)

February: Engage in Conversation with Other People

I hate conversing with other people. Now, don't get me wrong, I could sit and talk to my friends for hours... but strangers? No. Acquaintances? Even worse, because they expect you to actually care. I chose this resolution for February because it is the shortest month and I needed to save those 2 or 3 extra days for something I could actually stand. I resolved to respond and engage with every person that spoke to me for this entire month. When someone says, "Hey, how are you?" I usually say, "Fine." That's it. No, "Fine, how are you?" just "Fine." And let me tell you, you're lucky you get those 4 little letters. I will walk 5 minutes out of my way to avoid a conversation. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable to have to make conversation, so I promised myself that I would start small and simply return greetings and ask about people's general state of being... in person and on Facebook. So I Hey'd and Hi'd my way through half the month just fine... and then I realized what a grievous error I had made. My birthday falls right in the middle of the month of February, and it was on a Sunday this year. Which meant that I would be at church for 6 hours, with at least 200 people that usually speak to me, and they would ALL speak because it was my freaking birthday... not to mention the random weirdos that I had to say Thank-you-how-are-you to on Facebook (why do you wish random people happy birthday?). So I took a deep breath and Thank-you-How-are-you-doing'ed my way through my whole birthday, and I will say... after the day was over, I felt more social than the rest of my life combined.

March: Floss Every Day

More than anything else, this was decided because I had a dentist appointment at the beginning of March. But it is something we should all do, and it is something that I detest doing. After begging my dental hygienist to give up all hopes of me actually flossing, she granted me her blessing on using those little slingshot looking flossers. I told her I could do that. So, I resolved to do so every day for the month of March, and I did. I actually don't mind doing it at all, since I don't have to actually use the string of floss and stick my hands in my mouth. I realize that after January and February's Make-Me-A-Better-Person resolutions, this one seems trivial, but there are only so many character flaws that I am actually willing to change.

You know what is hilarious....

Laughing at a Fat Booth photo on Facebook.

And then realizing it is real.

Calm Down and Get Straight

I don't know if anyone is reading this... and I don't know if of the maybe 2 people that are, either have ever seen Little Shop of Horrors (the movie)... but there is a part in that movie where Audrey and Seymour are singing their little hearts out to each other in the alley... and Bill Murray's character walks in and says, "Excuse me, but if you two kids could just stop singing for one minute..."

Well, that is how I felt from 8pm-9pm last night while I was watching Grey's Anatomy: Song Beneath the Song.

Honestly, I don't even know where, or how, to begin. I'll start with a positive: Callie has an amazing voice... and the fact that she was in limbo or brain damaged or just punch drunk with love for Arizona, kind of made her singing seem appropriate. I laughed, I will admit, with the first note that was sung... but I could at least distend belief long enough to let her finish a song. Because she wasn't singing TO anyone, she was just putting her thoughts to songs she'd heard. Or some crazy bull mess that makes no sense. Whatever. It's the only positive I have.

Now, on to the best parts... Let's approach this like a true musical. By numbers. (but only those that made a lasting impression on me... and by that, I mean the bad ones.)

Chasing Cars... by Hunt, Torres, and Bailey

I can't remember what was happening on the episode that this song was originally played, but I do remember that I went and illegally downloaded Chasing Cars that same night. So, I can concede the point that Grey's has done big things for music... but still, it does not justify a musical! Dr. Hunt was the kicker for me. When he was looking at Callie, and just started singing, so intensely, the second verse... I lost it. I mean, I literally lost it. I, all at once, had to cover my eyes and my mouth, as I was about to spit water all over myself and everything in a 3 foot radius. There was no way I could be legitimately concerned for Callie's life, or that of her baby, because I was too busy cracking up at how seriously he was taking this nonsense.

Breathe... by Lexie

Considering this song is about, first, a girl going to get an abortion, and second, a young alcoholic soldier... I didn't get the connection. Were they trying to pull in every song that had ever been played on all 7 seasons? I understood that people did need to "just breathe," but I did not particularly love Lexie's voice (and she's been my favorite character since she came on the show), and I definitely thought it was a bit extreme that Callie was imagining Lexie walking down the hall singing Anna Nalick while she ripped her surgical mask off. This was my first "what the H is going on" moment.

Running on Sunshine... pretty much everyone, except McDreamy because he has a brain.

This. Was. Ridiculous. First of all, isn't everyone supposed to be super worried about their friend and her baby? Yet, Teddy is flirting it up with her patient/husband while he sings about a "rocket in his front left pocket." Is this an April Fools joke? Bailey and her nurse lover are bantering about getting it on in the hallway, and Karev is throwing the OBGYN around his trailer. My bad... I thought maybe the gyno should be with her patient that is minutes from death. The only scene in this song that seemed anywhere near appropriate was Meredith and McDreamy. He at least made a point to let the audience know that he was still thinking about Callie, and not his next solo. But that is because Patrick Dempsey is a genius and opted out of all musical numbers. When a man that had the lead in Enchanted tells you that a musical is not a good idea, maybe listen.

How to Save a Life... by Torres and others (can only remember one part of it)

This was okay. I liked how Callie was in the observation deck (or whatever it is called) with her baby daddy and lesbian lover. It was as if she was singing TO them, and that made semi-sense to me. Ok, that's all for that one.

How We Operate... by Hunt

Another one that had me burying my face out of embarrassment. I can't tell if it is because I don't like Hunt in the first place, or that he sings like he is delivering marching orders for a brigade, but I was physically uncomfortable every time the focus was on him. All the attendings are discussing literal life-and-death matters, and out of the blue (which, I will admit, I should have been expecting by now), Hunt sings "calm down, and get straight" (and don't think the irony of him saying that to Arizona was lost on me), and then he just lets loose. I hope when he wrote that song, Gomez knew the medical treatment that Callie would need... because it became apparent that it was the only direction that any of her doctors would be receiving.

Were you a fan of the music event? Or has Grey's Anatomy jumped the shark?

I fist pumped....

...when Blair and Dan kissed. I literally had both fists above my head, pumping.

To the recap:

Secrets between friends: Blair is happier than usual... especially considering she was just fired from her opportunity-of-a-lifetime job. She tries to attribute it to the leafy green juices of which she has been partaking, but Dorota knows that child better than she knows herself... you can fool Serena even though you share a bathroom... but nothing is getting past Dorota. After Blair leaves the room, Dorota finds a magazine with Dan's name and address on it, and confronts Blair about their secret relationship. Blair scoffs at such an idea and assures Dorota that she can stop seeing Dan at anytime... so she stands him up for their afternoon "date." Meanwhile, the almost exact conversation is going on across town between Dan and good ole Rufus, who I am sure was relieved to get a script that was longer than a post-it. Dan asks his dear old dad some cryptic questions about being secret friends. Strange to me: 20-something Dan is asking his pop who he can be friends with... but Rufus makes it clear that he can be friends with anyone, except Blair. He then poignantly states that sometimes friendships are just what we are doing to keep from trying what we really want. This makes Dan immediately decide to stand up Blair, without knowing she stood him up first. The two run into each other later and have a lovers' squabble about standing each other up... but still insist that they are just friends... so not a big deal.... so little of a deal, in fact, that they will announce it at the party that night. Yes, because I usually announce my friendships at large social gatherings.

Hostile Takeover: In other news, I am beyond ready for Chuck and Lily to tie these Thorpes up in neat little bows and send them back to Chicago. Tonight, Russell sends Lily an orange jumpsuit, just to let her know that he knows. Damien gave him the information last week, but that was just hearsay from a known drug-dealer, so Russell calls Ben's mom, and she rushes into town to steal the affidavit. Steal it she does, but not before Serena accuses Ben of taking said affidavit. Which, in my opinion, Ben should have said, "Darn right I took it. I earned that affidavit," but this is Serena and no one ever tells her off like she deserves. So Ben's momma has the affidavit, which she then, I assume, sells to Russell... and he uses it to blackmail Lily and Chuck into giving up Bass Industries. Chuck arranges for Raina to overhear Russell blackmailing him and Lily, and Raina runs to Nate, disappointed in both Chuck and her father. Why is this man so bent on tearing up Bart Bass's legacy?

Bad, bad, Bart Bass: Remember in season... some season before now... when Chuck found out that Bart had burned down a building and someone had died? Yeah, I didn't either... luckily they reminded us, and I had some vague recollections of the story. Well, included in the higher-than-estimated body count was Thorpe's wife, Raina's mother. Aaaah... Chuck connests the dots and realizes that this legacy he was trying to protect is all in his mind. His father was indeed just a bad man, and probably deserves whatever he gets, alive and posthumously.

Confessions of a dangerous momma: To protect Chuck's legacy, not Bart's... Lily goes to confess to the forging of the affidavit. By doing so, she takes the power away from Russell, Damien, and Ben's momma... so we can say goodbye to those losers. And just because nothing on GG is ever easy, Serena and Ben break up anyway. Serena has serious mother issues. And daddy issues. And obviously step-brother issues. But nevertheless, Rufus accompanies Lily to the PD, while Serena and Ben discuss their lives and how they don't match up. Well, that was fun and useless. Oh, and William Van der Woodson showed up... hmmmm.

I need my Blair: After Serena is dumped by her flavor-of-the-minute, she goes to soak away her blues in what I assume is liquor more expensive than my car. Chuck joins her, after learning of his father's murderous past. Chuck laments about how the only person he can talk to is Blair... and he leaves to find her. Serena tails behind, because of course her boy problems are of equal importance.

And finally: While everyone else on the UES has been dealing with murder, fraud, and sex offender status, Blair and Dan have been contemplating their relationship. Dan shows up at the Waldorf resident demanding one kiss... just to see if it reveals any stronger feelings. Blair seems completely on board with this idea and finally grabs Lonely Boy to do the honor. And all this while Chuck and Serena are in-route to the house... Did C and S see the kiss? Did D and B like it?

We'll see April 18th!

2011 Oscar Live Blog

Cute opening. James Franco is adorable and Anne Hathaway is more enjoyable than usual. The little movie spoof opener is actually funny. In parts.

They are going to great lengths now to make us care about "doesn't matter" awards. No matter how many clips they show from Gone with the Wind and Titanic, I'm not going to remember these winners' names tomorrow. I don't remember their names now.

Alice in Wonderland wins Best Art Director. This guy may seriously pass out. Did he just offer to saw the Oscar in half, and then place a little top hat on it? Things just took an early turn.

Well, Inception won Cinematography, so I guess we won't have another Gone with the Wind or Titanic. Could have told you that. This genius just chastised the audience for wasting his speech time. Hope you enjoy this- your only Oscar ever.

Someone roll Kirk Douglas' dead body back to the morgue... this is just embarrassing. What did he just confess? He loves what??? Are there subtitles for old people? Obviously he is presenting for some female award because they just showed Giselle from Enchanted and the Witch from Big Fish. I hope the little girl from True Grit wins... for no reason other than that it is the only movie out of these that I have seen.

Seriously... what is Kirk talking about??? Hugh Jackman is laughing because he is Australian? Um, no. He is laughing because you talk worse than "David after the Dentist." Marley Matlin could present better than this.

The Oscar for "Supporter Actress" goes to Marky Mark's white trash mom. She is wearing what looks like a Christmas craft I made in kindergarten. The ones where you fold the paper and then cut out a snow flake? Oh gosh... she just slipped the F word... this is going crazy train fast.

James Franco is divine. I love his facial expression. "Congratu-effin-lations, Melissa." that was awesome.

Does Meg Griffin have a purple tattoo on her boobies?

Is there a reason that these short cartoons have a separate category that gets air time? Cut that out and perform some music or something. Geeze... the winners were seated in the lobby. And one of them is a midget. They produced The Lost Thing. I doubt anyone other than them has ever heard of it. Did the non-midget say his wife was Jennifer Nettle? As in, the country singer? I'll Google it later.

If any movie other than Toy Story 3 wins best Animated Feature, I am going to literally tear my TV off the wall. Whew... I am glad I don't have to.

What is JT talking about "Banksy?"

Was that a dig at the Academy by the Toy Story guy? What is with these people biting the hand that feeds them?

I feel like they keep setting up these intros to montages or video clips... and then... nothing. It is weird. Why do Josh and Javier match?

Best Adapted Screenplay... I want Winter's Bone to win, because I wanted to see it. Oh well... it didn't. But I do want to see the Social Network, too... so no harm.

This guy is a major dork. How long has he been holding onto that Network reference? Okay, bud... music's playing... get off the stage. You can thank Kirk Douglas for that.

Best Original Screenplay- I am pulling for Inception. I loved the movie, and anyone that THOUGHT that up... well he deserves an award.

Did he get it though? No. It went to a movie about a stuttuttererer.

And we are back. Anne is singing Joey Potter's beauty pageant talent song. What is up with all the Hugh Jackman references? I am out of the loop.

And James Franco is in a hot pink dress. Awesome Charlie Sheen reference. I love James Franco.

Best Foreign Language Film... no one cares. No one.

Reese Witherspoon is gorgeous. Although, I do not understand the green earrings with that dress. Best Supporting Actor goes to... I say Geoffrey Rush. And I was wrong. Christian Bale takes it. Has he always been British? I don't recall his expletive laden web feature being in an accent? Did he forget his wife's name? That was awkward.

We are already watching the Oscars, and ABC... so I feel the in-broadcast advertisement was necessary.

A nice little intro to some music awards. I always like this part. Oh lord. They are playing Star Wars... I'm sold.

Best Original Score... it's a toss up between The King's Speech and Inception. Or not. Social Network wins. Bull. Inception's score totally made that movie.

Everything James Franco says makes me laugh. Not out loud, but I do chuckle.

Matthew McCanaughy and ScarJo are presenting an award for Acievement in Sound... do you think these actors are disappointed when they present for crappy awards?

Inception wins. I am so glad. The guy just thanked all three of their wives... and one of the winners is a woman. Her dress made by Hefty should have given it away.

Another award about Sound. Inception wins again. Rightfully so.

Marissa Tomei... love her. If I could only watch 5 movie scenes for the rest of my life, her testimony in My Cousin Vinnie would be one of them. But poor girl... she's presenting the Science awards. That's one step up from interviewing people on the red carpet for the TVGuide channel.

"Congratulations nerds." Love James Franco.

Cate Blanchett looks beautiful. She is presenting the award for Make-up. Of course it would go to The Wolfman. All the other nominees were just regular "put on some eyeliner" movies.

Costume Design... I would like True Grit to win, but it did not. Alice in Wonderland did. It should, but I just didn't want it to. Is this woman reading straight off her note card? You are at the freaking Oscars. Memorize something or just say "Thank you," and get off the stage.

Is this "movie song" thing a commercial or part of the show? I would bet you a million dollars that President Obama's favorite song is NOT As Time Goes By. Now Kevin Spacey is singing some old song that even I have never heard of.

Randy Newman is singing a song from Toy Story 3. Did anyone other than me think that Randy Newman was black?

I am strangely attracted to college Andy from Toy Story 3.

Now Mandy Moore is singing the Song from Tangled. Are they going to sing all the songs all together? I don't like that. But I do like the guy singing with Mandy. (Are you available?)

Okay, forget that guy... Jake Gyllenhaal is on the TV. I need a second.

What is Amy Adams wearing?

I have no idea what Jake said, but I agree and I love him. I love him. Love. Gorgeous. He deserves a better category than Short Documentary.

Live Action Short Film... didn't know this category existed. What is The Crush about? It had a little boy staring dreamily at his teacher... but there was a gun in the title... confusing.

They stick these crappy categories in the middle so you have to watch them. Evil.

"NYU, what's up?" Have I mentioned that I love James Franco.

This T-Pain-esque skit about musicals is hilarious. And that may be the first time I've heard JT sing in 5 years.

Oprah? Really? This is not the Emmy's. She's presenting for Best Documentary. I am calling it for Exit Through the Giftshop... because now I understand the Banksy comments that JT was making. And again, I am wrong. Inside Job takes it. Don't ask me what it is about. Judging by the obnoxious political comments, I am guessing it is about the financial crisis.

Anne is back with a surprise... Billy Crystal. I used to LOVE the Oscars when he hosted! He's doing a bit about Bob Hope... another good host. I'm not sure where this is going though. Montage of old Bob Hope clips. They have him imposed over a podium... half cool and half creepy.

Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law are presenting for some Technology awards. Inception wins for Visual Effects. Social Network wins for Film Editing. One of the guys just asked the other guy to hug it out. Not real sure about that...

James Franco is making comments about how the movie titles are dirty... Winter's Bone. Rabbit Hole. How to Train Your Dragon. The man can do no wrong.

J-Hud is presenting a song by Florence and some other man. It's from 127 Hours, which I will never see, because I get nauseated at the thought of it. Even though I do love James Franco.

Gwyneth Paltrow is singing her song from Country Strong... I love that she sings. That movie was great, and I am impressed that she actually sings herself. Even though that white mic is atrocious.

Best Song goes to... I say the song from Toy Story 3... and this time I am right!! Go Disney!

Celine Dion... I forgot you existed. Oh the In Memoriam... Leslie Nielson. Was that man's name Hickenlooper? Lynn Redgrave. Dennis Hopper. Who was the lady at the end? They didn't put her name?

Oh, hello, Halle Berry... Now I understand. It was Lena Horne.

I'm not a huge Hilary Swank fan, but I love this woman with her. No, I can't recall her name... but she won Best Director last year. She was the first woman, AND she beat her butt-hole ex-husband, James Cameron. I wasn't paying attention to the nominees, but the director for The King's Speech won Best Director.

James Franco always seems to be a little uncomfortable... but I like it.

Not a huge Annette Benning fan either. She's presenting a montage from the Governor's Ball... which looks like "the Oscars go to the Nursing Home."

Now we are getting to the awards that actually matter.

Jeff Bridges always looks smashed. Nicole Kidman looks beautiful. Natalie Portman looks gorgeous pregnant!! When I get pregnant, I will look like a white Precious.

Jen from Dawson's Creek? I forgot she made a movie this year. I am just not over her antics on the Creek, so I can't put my support behind her.

I call Natalie... Correct. That dress is beautiful. I have loved Natalie Portman since she gave birth to a baby in a Wal-Mart.

I am torn between thinking that Anne Hathaway is funny or just annoying. The jury is still out.

I love me some Sandra Bullock :)

I would love for Jeff Bridges to win, because he was awesome in True Grit. But I am thinking that Colin Firth will win for The King's Speech. Nice shout out to General Hospital, which I love.

Called it. Firth wins.

There are three minutes left in the program and there is still Best Picture to award. They need to hurry.

Stephen Spielburg is presenting. He really is the best. Of course, Cowboys and Aliens is set to come out this year.

I am calling The King's Speech to win it, but I am pulling for Toy Story 3. Mainly just because I want to see Tim "the Toolman" Taylor accept an Oscar.

Honestly, Inception or True Grit could win, and I'd love it... because I loved those movies. But I can't honestly say they were the BEST pictures.

I called it.

PS22 kids are singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. All the winners joined them onstage. That is a really cute closing.

In my opinion, the show was a success.

I will be Redboxing a bunch of movies this next week. And isn't that what the Oscar's is really all about? You can't buy a house with a gold statue.

I always have time for a scheme

This was the best episode in weeks... months maybe!

It started off with the Queen B berating her minions over Skype... and being that I love Blair and I love Skype... I knew I'd be a happy camper.

Blair has no doubt bitten off more than she can chew at W. I could tell from the first sight that there would be a Post-It mix up disaster, and it did not fail to deliver. It also cam as no surprise that Serena busted into Blair's place of employment asking for her help. Now, Serena has commented on every episode since Christmas that Blair is "too busy" and has "too much going on," but S deemed it appropriate to pile one more thing on her? Serena's selfishness never ceases to amaze me. But Blair is an undeniable over-achiever, and an addict of schemes... so of course she accepted.

The scheme? To get Eric off the hook for a $100,000 drug deal that somehow involved tulips. Damien was blackmailing Eric to complete this drug deal, by saying that if the drugs were not delivered, Lily would be outed as the forger that she is! Now, I watch Gossip Girl enough to know that the Van der Woodsons can buy themselves out of any trouble... so I don't understand why all the hoops are being jumped through to keep Lily out of trouble. I know what I'd do... I'd call that judge and blackmail HIM into making the whole situation disappear... or I'd pimp Serena out to a Senator and take some pictures, and just nip this thing in the bud from the TOP!

Moving on... In other news, Dan pops in to save the day for Blair at W. Really, he is just trying to take her to lunch as a thank you for reading his article, but come on... we both know they are just making excuses to see each other now. So Blair gives him an assignment: to complete whatever is written on a certain Post-it. Of course Dan messes it up and grabs the Post-It that says "Pick up tulips." And thus, Dan is turned into an unknowing drug mule.

BUT! Blair hasn't been sleeping well, and she wrote the wrong color tulips on the Post-It... so Dan is actually just a flower delivery boy. That seems fitting for the boy from Brooklyn.

Elsewhere in the UES, the Thorpe takeover of Bass industries is getting close. Lily and Chuck stage a fake fight, so that Russell thinks his plan of divide and conquer is working. Lily then takes Russ out to lunch, while Chuck breaks into his offices using the codes that the Captain embezzled last week.

Meanwhile, Nate is babysitting Raina, so that she doesn't bust Chuck for B&E... and so Nate can talk Chuck up and she will fall back in love with him. Chuck, I love you... and I would always pick you over Nate... but maybe not pick such a hot friend to entertain your love interest next time. Nate and Raina end up playing Wii, eating Ice Cream, and making all kinds of memories all day... and by the end of the day, she couldn't have picked Chuck out of a line-up.

This pairing makes more sense to me anyway. Nate needs a story, and they actually have some chemistry... as much as you can have with a robot like Raina. I want Chuck good and single when Blair and Dan finally hook up... because I want him to lose it... and so, he doesn't need any distractions.

Back to the tulips for drugs scenario... It just happens to be Eric's 18th birthday, and Lily has planned a piñata laden theme party for a lot of his friends who have never before been seen on the show. Well, other than Damien, who busted in and demanded his hundred grand for the drug deal gone bad. Serena and Eric immediately go to opening all of his birthday gifts to find his trust fund (how do you wrap a trust fund?) so that he can pay Damien and make this all go away. Lily busts them mid-check and finally takes some responsibility... she will pay Damien. Wow, bad guys never win on GG.

Ben makes like the good ex-con he is and threatens Damien into giving back the money. Vanessa witnesses this altercation, but lucky for Ben, everyone hates Vanessa, so there is no one she can tell. But Damien runs right to Russell Thorpe and offers him information on the VDW/Basses in exchange for $100,000... Damien needs to learn- ask for $200,000 and make a profit! Geeze. That's why you're a drug dealer and not a businessman.

Back to Dan and Blair... Blair is exhausted, just like her pseudo-boyfriend has been telling her all day, and she has forgotten to write the blog she was assigned. She discovers it has been written, and she knows it was Dan. She jets over to the loft to thank him, and they end up eating pizza and watching A Philadelphia Story.

Oh, and Blair had on two different shoes all episode, which apparently in the UES is the same as being completely naked. I thought they looked fine as a pair. Better than anything Vanessa wears.

Facebook Farmville Pharoah

If you are trying to convince the world that you are ready to be your own ruler, this is a great place to start.

Egypt for the win.

Valentine's Vendetta

Serena has turned into a Real Housewife of New York City. She doesn't work. She contributes nothing to society. She thinks she is too cool for the press. She started the episode in a men's oxford, begging B to skip work and go to the spa. She then inserted her foot into her mouth by assuming that the recently released sex-offender had landed a new job with another teenager... does she use her brain? Ever? And then sabotages Blair's big interview with Raina... and why? To protect her? B may buy that, but I don't. Serena thinks she knows so much more than everyone else... even though she has never made a good decision as long as I have known her :)

Chuck needs to settle this mess with the Thorpes. And fast. It is boring, redundant, and I know that it is going to be absolutely pointless to the story once it is over. There is no one that has ever watched one Gossip Girl episode that thinks Chuck is going to possible end up with Raina... or that Russell Thorpe is going to stay on this show past Easter. I have issues with new-comers in real life, I grant you, so it is understandable that it carries over to television... However, I was a complete fan of the Uncle Jack, Olivia, Juliet, and Georgina story lines.... because they actually made a difference. It's something that the main characters can refer back to from time to time. But the Thorpes, they are right up there with Bree Buckley and Agnes Andrews (look it up and realize how much you've forgotten).

Blair spends this whole episode trying to succeed at her never-would-really-happen job. First she has to land an interview with an It Girl, so she picks Raina. Here's my issue with that. 1) I don't like Raina. 2) If Raina is such an It Girl, why did Chuck Bass, ladies man extraordinaire, not recognize her the first time they met? If Chuck Bass didn't know her, no one who reads W is going to know her. Now, of course Blair is just doing this so she can be privy to Chuck's big Valentine's Night. And, of course this completely blows up in her face. But not before Serena talks Raina out of the interview AND makes Blair seem pathetic by not being over Chuck. She then films an interview about how she likes to keep her private life private (i.e. bringing her ex-con pedophile to a big party every weekend). The good ole Queen B did appear though, and publicly dispelled Serena's stupid belief that Ben was tutoring, when in fact, he was serving drinks that even Lonely Boy has become to good for.

Dan shows up to the W party for reasons that I am not completely aware. But, nonetheless, he is there, and it does provide an opportunity for us all to get our Dair on. He and Blair are talking in the "Venice" room that Chuck has built for Raina, but one C and R come in, D and B must hide in what is the largest closet I have ever seen (there was a nice size couch!). Once inside, they overhear Chuck profess his feelings to Raina, including how sacred she is to him. Blair must have felt like a big ole piece of poo. It wasn't eons ago that Chuck traded Blair to Jack for a hotel, and now he is telling Raina that he will give that hotel up for HER? Bull-oh-knee. Don't believe it for a minute. But, Blair must have for a second, because she was holding Lonely Boy's hand for comfort. The episode ends with Blair and Dan watching Rosemary's Baby over the phone... too cute.

The supporting cast, which I'm sorry to say now includes Nate, had little going on. Nate is still talking to the Chief about how he needs to get a job, but not THAT job... Rufus is still getting accustomed to the new leash law... and Nate's dad did finally get fired, but not before he committed another felony and gave Chuck the key codes for Thorpe's offices. The only person whose story contributed to the overall scene was Eric... who, after volunteering at a soup kitchen, met Damien in a dark alley... and I don't mean in any way that Eric might enjoy.

Nuns and Nazis

I'm just going to put this out there.

This week's episode sucked.

What? It did!

Reasons? Well, I'm glad you asked.

1. Who moved my Chair? There is no way, NO WAY, that Blair would be okay with Chuck having "relations" with someone else... much less trying to set up such "relations". The only part of this scenario I actually bought was when Chuck and Blair were on the phone and C told B to "watch it" or something of that nature. I'm insulted that the writers expect me to forget the passion... the love... the jealousy, that so defines Chuck and Blair. It disgusts me. Ugh.

2. Really? Another party? I don't live in New York. I don't work at a big time magazine. So, forgive me if these things actually happen, but why is W having another party so soon? And why, in the world, would Dan and Blair be allowed to attend? Didn't they WRESTLE at the last party? This is one of the major plot holes that GG has: they try to convince the viewer that this is a lifestyle that is unattainable but for the high and mighty... but they seem to let any Tom, Dick, and Ex-Con in at the door. I don't buy the exclusivity, and therefore, the parties always seem more immature than inaccessible.

3. You mean the drug dealer isn't an honest man? Who would have thunk it? Damien is not a good person? I never would have guessed that. All I have to go on is the selling drugs and all his past indiscretions. Oh, you say I should have known? Yes, I should have. Good one Dan and Eric. Idiots.

4. Raina on my parade. I could not, and will not, get on board the Chuck and Raina Traina. The back and forth of "he's using her" and "he loves her"... Truth is, I didn't fully buy either one. I was left feeling more confused and ambivalent towards the whole story. They hid in the same place? Bogus. He's willing to give up his hotel for her? Bull. I can not stand this story and I want her to leave.

5. Serena and Ben. They don't deserve a cute name or a witty lead-in. They are boring. Selfish. So Serena and Rufus worked up this idea of Dan and Ben being roommates? I don't blame Dan one bit for being pissed. I wouldn't want to live with him either! Not too mention that Serena is his sista-lovah, but the guy is kind of a creeper. Sure, he's not technically a sex offender, but he is weird. "You put Max Cady in the living room." -Dan's Cape Fear reference was the #2 quote of the night.

6. Un. Be. Liev. Able. There is no way. No way to Sunday, that Blair would get Epilepsy's job. No way. LAST WEEK- Blair was wrestling with Dan in front of the Editor. I love Blair. I think she could run the country. But would she be given the chance after she Salahi'ed the State Dinner? No. So, be clear... it's not that I don't think Blair can do the job, and do it well... but this whole scenario is redic.

Also unbelievable, but surprisingly not that surprising... Nate's favorite movie is Sound of Music?? Hmmm... of course, Nate has been so uber-boring lately that this actually made me like him. I had forgotten what it was like for Nate's character to have any depth. I had written him off as simply a pawn for Chair and Derena. Of course, this little gem of knowledge provided me with maybe my favorite line of 2011... "It's got nuns and Nazis!"

Did everyone hate this episode? Am I just a snarky, miserable idividual?