I fist pumped....

...when Blair and Dan kissed. I literally had both fists above my head, pumping.

To the recap:

Secrets between friends: Blair is happier than usual... especially considering she was just fired from her opportunity-of-a-lifetime job. She tries to attribute it to the leafy green juices of which she has been partaking, but Dorota knows that child better than she knows herself... you can fool Serena even though you share a bathroom... but nothing is getting past Dorota. After Blair leaves the room, Dorota finds a magazine with Dan's name and address on it, and confronts Blair about their secret relationship. Blair scoffs at such an idea and assures Dorota that she can stop seeing Dan at anytime... so she stands him up for their afternoon "date." Meanwhile, the almost exact conversation is going on across town between Dan and good ole Rufus, who I am sure was relieved to get a script that was longer than a post-it. Dan asks his dear old dad some cryptic questions about being secret friends. Strange to me: 20-something Dan is asking his pop who he can be friends with... but Rufus makes it clear that he can be friends with anyone, except Blair. He then poignantly states that sometimes friendships are just what we are doing to keep from trying what we really want. This makes Dan immediately decide to stand up Blair, without knowing she stood him up first. The two run into each other later and have a lovers' squabble about standing each other up... but still insist that they are just friends... so not a big deal.... so little of a deal, in fact, that they will announce it at the party that night. Yes, because I usually announce my friendships at large social gatherings.

Hostile Takeover: In other news, I am beyond ready for Chuck and Lily to tie these Thorpes up in neat little bows and send them back to Chicago. Tonight, Russell sends Lily an orange jumpsuit, just to let her know that he knows. Damien gave him the information last week, but that was just hearsay from a known drug-dealer, so Russell calls Ben's mom, and she rushes into town to steal the affidavit. Steal it she does, but not before Serena accuses Ben of taking said affidavit. Which, in my opinion, Ben should have said, "Darn right I took it. I earned that affidavit," but this is Serena and no one ever tells her off like she deserves. So Ben's momma has the affidavit, which she then, I assume, sells to Russell... and he uses it to blackmail Lily and Chuck into giving up Bass Industries. Chuck arranges for Raina to overhear Russell blackmailing him and Lily, and Raina runs to Nate, disappointed in both Chuck and her father. Why is this man so bent on tearing up Bart Bass's legacy?

Bad, bad, Bart Bass: Remember in season... some season before now... when Chuck found out that Bart had burned down a building and someone had died? Yeah, I didn't either... luckily they reminded us, and I had some vague recollections of the story. Well, included in the higher-than-estimated body count was Thorpe's wife, Raina's mother. Aaaah... Chuck connests the dots and realizes that this legacy he was trying to protect is all in his mind. His father was indeed just a bad man, and probably deserves whatever he gets, alive and posthumously.

Confessions of a dangerous momma: To protect Chuck's legacy, not Bart's... Lily goes to confess to the forging of the affidavit. By doing so, she takes the power away from Russell, Damien, and Ben's momma... so we can say goodbye to those losers. And just because nothing on GG is ever easy, Serena and Ben break up anyway. Serena has serious mother issues. And daddy issues. And obviously step-brother issues. But nevertheless, Rufus accompanies Lily to the PD, while Serena and Ben discuss their lives and how they don't match up. Well, that was fun and useless. Oh, and William Van der Woodson showed up... hmmmm.

I need my Blair: After Serena is dumped by her flavor-of-the-minute, she goes to soak away her blues in what I assume is liquor more expensive than my car. Chuck joins her, after learning of his father's murderous past. Chuck laments about how the only person he can talk to is Blair... and he leaves to find her. Serena tails behind, because of course her boy problems are of equal importance.

And finally: While everyone else on the UES has been dealing with murder, fraud, and sex offender status, Blair and Dan have been contemplating their relationship. Dan shows up at the Waldorf resident demanding one kiss... just to see if it reveals any stronger feelings. Blair seems completely on board with this idea and finally grabs Lonely Boy to do the honor. And all this while Chuck and Serena are in-route to the house... Did C and S see the kiss? Did D and B like it?

We'll see April 18th!