Introducing Mrs. Nate Humphrey

I attempted to "live blog" while watching Gossip Girl this week. It was pretty successful. Before I publish though, I may add a bit here and there (in blue). Enjoy...

• I laughed out loud when Nate said, "It's not like I've been doodling Mrs. Nate Humphrey." Best line of the episode. The dynamic of Nate and Dan is awesome.
• Serena still hasn't chosen? Seriously? It's annoying now.
• Vanessa sucks now. She's whiny and vindictive and pathetic. I used to love Vanessa. She was an individual, independent, and a breath of fresh air to all the UES drama. But now, she just follows Dan around like a little puppy.
• Has Columbia always been Serena's dream? It is insulting that the writers all of a sudden write Serena to be this studious career driven woman. Bull.
• Finally, Lily gets some screen time. She was a good momma bear with the dean.
• Dan and Nate are gayer than Eric and his bf. But I love them.
• Ugh, Jenny's back. Why does Serena hate Jenny? Is it because Jenny sent out that GG blast that broke up Nate and Serena? I lose track.
• So Anne Archibald can be married to a man in prison, and it's okay for her to run Girls, Inc. But Blair is not suitable if she's with Chuck? Didn't Chuck just donate a ton of money to whatever charity Eva chose? Ridic. This was the biggest plot hole of this episode. Even bigger than that Dan nor Nate could recognize Serena's kissies.
• I loved that Chuck and Blair were getting pedicures at the same time.
• Chuck's face when he said ILY was the best Chuck face ever. He's getting hotter.
• What other teacher was S with? Is it Ben? I'm starting to connect dots, but I don't know if it is the right dots. But I'm pretty sure it is.
• Why does Serena keep wearing blazers? Again, we know she is not a career woman. Let it go.
• Dan is fine. As of today I think he's hotter than Nate.
• Juliet is bossy. Vanessa is acting like her little biotch.
• Lily is right. Serena is a screw up.
• The guy at the door doesn't know Serena? Whatev. Her picture was in the NY Post THAT morning!
• I loved when "Serena" (who I am really wishing they would clarify was Juliet as opposed to Jenny) kissed Dan, and he said "Tell Nate I'm sorry." and then whispered, "Not sorry enough to want you to change your mind." I laughed out loud again. Dan and Nate were the shining stars of this episode.
• Chuck is beautiful. Seriously. Even though he talks like Bruce Wayne. Or Batman. Did Bruce talk like that even without the mask?
• Is it really THAT big of a deal that Chuck and Blair be together? I mean, he's not a Nazi; he's not trying to build a mosque on Ground Zero. I would think her being friends with Serena would be worse than being with Chuck.
• It pissed me off that Blair didn't call Anne out about her hubby being in JAIL!!!! What happened to my beloved Blair? And Chuck was okay enough to be Anne's son's best friend? Really, the biggest plot hole.
• If Girls, Inc. had picked Serena over Blair, I would have written the CW a letter.
  Wow. Smart move S. Insult Eric. The ONE person who is not mad at you right now.
  Blair is not going to like being "Chuck Bass' Girlfriend." They broke up 1 minute after I typed this.
• Does Vanessa say Brookland? As opposed to Brooklyn? I swear I hear a D.
• Are Nate and Dan about to make out? I thought at the very least they were about to hold hands.
• How did Juliet get Serena upstairs? Is she kidnapping her?
• My prediction (based on the fact that they kissed in the preview for next week): Serena picks Dan. But then again, it is Serena.

Oh No He Didn't

Facebook is about to piss me off.

No, I didn't get hacked. I am not getting stalked. My privacy has been no more compromised than I allow it to be. Mark Z. has announced a new Facebook program that he so affectionately dubbed a "Gmail killer."

'xcuse me?? Surely I didn't hear him correctly. You're planning on killing my beloved Google Mail? With my sweet little Gchat? With my Google Reader built right in? With my handy dandy Google Calendar? Over my dead body.

I love Facebook, let me say that first (even though this is at least paragraph 2). I do. I love reconnecting with old friends (even though, if we were really friends we wouldn't need Facebook). Okay fine! I really just love Facebook because I am 90% nosey and 10% self-absorbed. I like to know what people are doing, when they break up, when they have bambinos. And I enjoy that there are people out there who feel that way about me! Plus, I hate talking on the phone, and Facebook is a way to contact people whose email I may not have. Which, I suppose, that is why they thought of this whole Facebook Email in the first place.

But I digress.... I will not switch to Facebook Email or whatever it will be called. I may get a facebook email address, just because it's free and I am a hoarder of sorts, but will I use it? Doubtful. Here's the cut and dry of why:

1. Privacy concerns. I trust Facebook with my photos. I trust Facebook with my friends' names. Would I trust Facebook with my credit card information? Um, no. I don't think you can reasonably post a picture of yourself photobombing at your friend's wedding under the same account with which you pay your student loans. I might as well hand over my diploma and my bank account. Some things just need to stay separate for sanity's sake. (BTW, this is the only semi-mature reason I have.)

2. It sounds ridiculous. When I say xxxx@gmail, I sound hip. I sound young and techno and cool. If someone told me that they used AOL, I would think they were old as dirt and probably only check their email once a month. But if someone told me that their primary email was @facebook.com, I would think that they spend umpteen hours a day on Farmville, fight in Mafia Wars, and are going to forward me a lot of crap I don't care about. Yes, Facebook is the new hot thing (even though I've had mine since 2003, when it was still a COLLEGE networking site), but it still has a certain immature connotation ingrained with it.

3. Gmail killer. Now I just want to keep Mark Z. from doing that. If I have the sole Gmail account left in the post-apocalyptic world. As long as there is breath in my lungs... As long as there is life in my veins... As long as there are witty comebacks in my repertoire... I will never give up my Gmail!!!!

Here are few articles I found on the subject:

Here's one.

Here's another.

And another.

Oh, and one more.

Okay this is the last one.

Ny New Favorite Shoes

They are warmer than Rainbow sandals.

They are more comfortable than Sperrys.

They are dressier than Wallabies.

They are Crocs.

I swore I would never wear Crocs.

I will never wear Crocs as it pertains to the duck like clogs that are hideous.

These are different.

These are like loafers.

Loafers with youth.

Loafers with spunk.

Loafers with little white clouds as soles.

Crocs, Melbourne, Gold/Oyster

Systematic Bullying!!

I enjoyed last night's episode. I thought it was immature, sexy, and vindictive... exactly how GG is supposed to be. I have to admit that when they were all outside of the Ballet circling Juliet like a pack of angry pirahnas, I could hear Kelly Killoren Bensimon screaming at the UES about how "systematic bullying is never okay." But I loved it! In honor of the UES (and the Brooklynites) all returning to true form, I'll take them one-by-one.

Naturally first, Serena: It is safe to say that we could take one of those Men In Black memory erasers, block out everything that has happened this season thus far (as it pertains to S), and we would be caught up! Dan or Nate? Nate or Dan? Boob or leg? Both, you say? Okay! This girl has issues. I think I would like S more if she would embrace her inability to commit to one man and just be the "free spirit" that she was in Paris. I prefer Dan, because even though he is safe, being with a Brooklynite (and her step brother) would be rebellious, and that suits Serena better than being the next Mrs. Archibald. But, back to THIS episode: the whiplash I get from her Dan-Nate-{substitute random guy's name} triangles should entitle me to a nice insurance settlement. I didn't really follow the logic of the breakup with Colin... unless the forbidden love was the only thing that drew them to each other; without the secrecy, it's boring. I do agree that she was only with Colin to avoid choosing between Dan and Nate, but she never seemed upset enough, to me, when they were with Vanessa and Juliet. If you're really THAT hung up on a (couple of) guy(s), you're not going to be able to hang out with them and their new girlfriend. I think Serena's ability to be head over heels in love with a guy, at the drop of a hat, is what irritates me the most. That and her insistence on saying "academic career" once an episode. And sometimes her voice.

Nathaniel: Nate, in my opinion, is the underdog in the Nate vs. Dan war (even though they couldn't act like they were less at war). Of course, he's the obvious choice, but it's Serena we're talking about here, so of course she's not going to pick him. The thing I like least about Nate is his naivete, and the urgency with which he acts on said naivete. Let me break down this episode: 1.Nate finds that Juliet was lying, so he immediately goes to Vanessa to acknowledge that she is innocent and they create a secret opps team 2.Juliet tells him that she washes her own hair and shops at Ikea and he immediately forgives her and abandons Vanessa 3.He sees Jul and V in action at the Ballet and immediately falls back in love with Serena 4.He immediately walks to Serena's building and professes his love for her, even thought she just ignored his phone call. Nate! You're gorgeous! You're rich! You're gorgeous! Did anyone else wonder why he didn't question Juliet about the sex-for-grades accusation that Vanessa took the fall for? Did anyone wonder why Nate Archibald was walking around Manhattan by himself? Did anyone else rewind to hear if Nate's cover story was really "Chuck is asking where the batteries are"? Did anyone think to, oh I don't know, ASK WHY BEN IS IN JAIL?

Lonely Boy: Dan is back in true Lonely Boy fashion. "I would have done anything for you." "You are worth more than a guest lecture at Columbia." Dan, ease up buddy. All this sap is making your hair curl. Oh, you did that on purpose? Moving on... I do however, think Dan's "Watching or participating?" line in response to Serena's question about the ballet was superb, and classic Dan. I do not like Dan and Vanessa as luvaahs, so I am a fan of anyone and anything that comes in between them (even if that is Serena). Yes, I cracked on his hair, but Dan is actually looking quite handsome lately, and I will go on the record and throw my support behind him in the Serena wars. (Penn and Blake have a ton more chemistry than she does with Chase). I do find it disheartening that he was so quick to believe Juliet over Vanessa in the sex-for-grades email debacle, but I think there is still more to come from that story... even though it seems that Vanessa is refusing to let go of the shovel and just keeps digging that hole.

Speaking of V: She has got to get it together! If we were friends, this is what I would tell her. "Vanessa, comb your hair. Then, forget Dan and go after Nate. He is heartbroken at the realization that he has been duped yet again by a lady, and he needs a shoulder. You can help him get over Serena and realize you're the only girl for him. You can bond over your mutual loathing of S and D and talk about how Dan betrayed the both of you for Serena. It will be so romantic! Oh, and seriously, comb your hair." What was she thinking bringing about the new evil duo of Juliet and Jenny!?!

J and J: There is no combo suitable to take on anyone that has Chuck+Blair in their corner, but if there ever were one that could come close- it would be Juliet and Jenny. They have nothing to lose, and that's a dangerous motivator. Next week looks awesome (mainly because Katie Cassidy is going back to her Melrose Place blonde), and I cannot wait to see how easily Dan and Nate are fooled into thinking the girl behind the mask is Serena, even thought S is a strange amazonian giant that is taller than both Jenny and Juliet. I'm just seriously hoping they map it out so that Jenny and Dan don't end up having to kiss.... a step sister is as close as we need to go.

Chuck and Blair: I know I said I would cover everyone one-by-one, but I am just enjoying them together too much to split them up, even for one blog post. Last night's episode wasn't as raunchy as I had anticipated, but actually more... sweet? I did find the conversation between Chuck and his driver off-putting, but him in Blair's purple robe was hilarious. Last night, Blair and Chuck provided the light hearted "comedy" side that GG does so well. But then, when he carried her up those stairs... well I for one completely forgot about Jenny and Eva and all that that entailed. And I have a feeling that Chuck and Blair did as well.

Bless Her Heart

Secretary Clinton, I commend you for the advances you have made for women in politics. However, the setbacks that you are creating in the arena of business-wear are seriously alarming.

Lose the headband. Blair Waldorf you are not.

Zee? Zoe!

I had a general sense of "This sucks" for a lot of the episode. It may be my mood. What did y'all think?
Biggest Idiot Award:
Serena? She's an idiot because she has decided to trust Juliet. So Juliet backs her up, ONE TIME, and all of a sudden she comes before Blair on the totem pole of friendship? Stupid.
Nate? He is an idiot for first SHOWING Dan the treaty, then TELLING him it was top secret, then LEAVING Dan there alone with said treaty. Stupid.
Dan? He probably should win for thinking that little ole lonely boy could take on Chuck+Blair. Most stupid.

Speaking of...
A karaoke video? Seriously? Robyn? Seriously? First, I Googled Robyn to find the name of the one song I know (Show Me Love), then I braced myself for the long awaited revelation of a Blair/Jack tryst that has been waiting in the wings since Season 2. The whole episode had built up to this (i.e. Chuck asking how Blair knew where Jack was last summer). Just imagine my disappointment when I had to watch Blair sing Tammy Wynette. Then to watch a Dick van Dyke worthy scene of Rachel Zoe being drenched in chocolate, just to hear her utter "I die". That may, for me, go down as the biggest, lamest, letdown in GG history. Leave it to stupid Dan to think that a karaoke video could undo Chuck+Blair. I understand the whole "Chuck's the only one that knew, he broke the truce" so Blair would retaliate, but come on... I don't tune into GG to watch crap like that.

Are we sure Eric is the only gay? What was up with Dan's moment about Nate talking to Serena? I think Dan was more upset that Nate had been hanging out with the original Upper East Siders and not him. The way he went from being so concerned for his parents and sister, into "I thought we agreed.." That was the gayest thing I have ever seen on GG. Including Eric and his bf. Not to mention Rufus and Dan's obsession with paper being the first anniversary!

Other Lame Moments: Serena reciting the Gettysburg address, and she and Nate giggling at each other. The declaration from Juliet and Ben that this is all about getting Serena expelled (I don't imagine Serena being that into school). The fact that these writers would even give Serena the line, "I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my academic career." Colin being Juliet's cousin, period. I wanted him to be IN ON IT!

Opposite of Lame: Chuck. And. Blair. Tearing. Up. That. Treaty.

I have never been more pro-war.