Easy on the Eyliner, J

This may contain spoilers. (It will.)

What Kind Of Jail Is This: How is Ben texting Juliet constantly? So he jumps Nate's dad in the cafeteria and then just pulls out his Blackberry? What the crap? GG can make the real estate ventures of a high school senior (Chuck) seem realistic, but I just am not buying this plot point. There is no way that this guy would be able to TEXT this often, if ever! The occasional phone call, I can understand, but the texting has just gone over the line.

Little Skanky J: First and foremost, I am NOT a Jenny fan. I can't even remember if I was in the very beginning, but ever since she started putting her eyeliner on with a shovel, I know I've been off board. I think Taylor Momsen has become a WORSE actress since she left. After reading all the articles about how Tim Gunn said she was a little brat and wouldn't get her act together on set, I totally noticed her "I'm too rock and roll for this shiz" attitude last night. And, she is not cute. I thought she was adorbs the first season or two, but with all the black mini dresses, the eyeliner (UGH), and the platinum blonde mop on her head... I was so ready for her to get back to Hudson and out of Manhattan.

The Plot Thickens: What??? Juliet and Colin are in on it together? Are they? That scene took me completely by shock. Is he in charge? He was paying her... for what? WHAT IS THIS STORY?? I just can't even guess! And... Regarding Colin: He's hot. Also, maybe I forgot, but I was thinking he told Serena he managed models or actresses or something? He definitely didn't mention he was a professor. I, for one, did not think his little "maybe I am your future" outburst in front of Lily was cute AT ALL... Right then I thought there was something a little off with him, but I still had no clue he was in on it with Juliet.

Quotables: I loved when Chuck called Blair "Lady Macbeth"... I don't know why, I just thought that was great. I also loved the way that Blair and Chuck ran through the "What Ifs" of last season finale... "If Serena hadn't kissed Dan, then Nate wouldn't be looking for Serena, then Jenny wouldn't have been looking for Nate... If Dorota hadn't gone into labor, then Blair wouldn't have been late, then Chuck wouldn't have been home instead of Nate"... I just really loved it. I love bad boy Chuck, but I love the Chuck that was at the end with Blair even more. I just love Chuck period. I also loved "Love the Way You Lie" playing after Chuck and Blair's scene.

What did y'all think?

College is just high school with more expensive books

You may be asking yourself, "Is Jessica psychic? Is she clairvoyant?"

Well, let me answer you- no I am not :) I am just a good guesser. I was right that Eva was a hooker AND that the rumour would be about an STD, but I have no predictions about next week, so I guess the streak is over. I do, however, think that next week's episode will be the one with Tim Gunn, and I have been looking forward to that! (Do y'all watch Project Runway?)

Now, on to the recap....

As a whole: I wasn't overly impressed with last night's episode, but at the same time I really enjoyed it. I think that with all the "serious" drama that we have had lately, last night's GG rumour and catty nonsense seemed a tad petty. But, that is part of what I love about GG, so I was also relieved to see it take it down a notch and get back to "Constance Billard"-esque drama. Serena's line, "College is just high school with more expensive books" summed it all up for me. And gave me high hopes that they won't all get too mature for GG anytime soon :)

Poor Little Rich, I mean Poor, Girl: Wow. Who did NOT feel sorry for V last night? I mean, the poor girl loves Dan, even though EVERYONE knows that he is still hung up on Serena. Side note: If a boy says, "I'm not going to cut her out of my life", hit the road. It is so obvious that he still has it bad for his step sister. Then, she confides in Juliet (mistake numero uno), and ends up taking the blame for the rumour AND the email. I am a Vanessa fan, even though she has a tendency to be self righteous and annoying (i.e. trying to convince Juliet to confess to having Serena's phone). But her little sad crying face actually made me sad.

Hamilton House is Exclusive??: To be so selective, they sure do let any Tom, Dick, and Harry walk through the doors. Juliet just got kicked out because of the Key debacle, yet she was at the party. Dan and V go to NYU! To be such an honor to get in, and such a black mark to be left out, it would seem like you would need some sort of credentials to get pass the door.

Chuck, welcome back: I completely loved Chuck and Blair's scenes last night. Their complete and utter disregard for innocent bystanders just amuses me beyond belief. It brings me back to the early days of Gossip Girl (and really makes me want to buy all the seasons and rewatch them!), where it was all revenge and sexual tension.

Juliet... seriously?: I cannot figure this girl out! I still am not 100% sold on that being her brother. There is a part of me that still thinks they are/were lovers. I keep racking my brain to remember all the past indiscretions of SVW, but I cannot remember anything involving a Ben. And it must have happened a while back for him to have already gone through a trial and be serving jail time. I was glad that last night made it clear that it was all about Serena, because I was kind of under the impression that it was about all of Manhattan's Elite. But is she after V and D, too? Or were they just collataral damage to get to Serena? I have about settled on the fact that it is going to be something that we don't know yet. Also, is it just me or does every dress that Juliet wears look exactly alike?

My BFF Regina Philange gave this insight, which I found completely amusing: Ben's main goal was to get Serena expelled from Columbia, but how could that really ruin her life? She spent a whole season on a break so I feel like its not really a priority for her.

For a hilarious roundtable discussion on this week's episode, click here.

For the "hook up" chart to which Juliet referred, click here. (You'll need to use Firefox)

Oh, It's On

Okay, I know I'm late, but I watched it last night.

First, let me get this out of the way- I TOLD Y'ALL EVA WAS A HOOKER! I hope he starts a charity in her name to help reform prostitutes in NYC.

Queen B(!%¢#) Blair: Wow. I am surprised at Blair, and that is saying a lot. But it is going to bring back the mean ole' Chuck that I first fell in love with. What is he going to do? This will be glorious.

Dan the Man: What the heck did he do to his hair? At times it looks good, and at other times he looks like the lost member of the NKOTB. If I was Vanessa there's no way I would put up with the back and forth with his step-sister. I mean grow a pair, V!

Nate is a Dufus: He is the most gullible person on TV. And I do not like the new Nate. I liked Nate better when he was all "I love Blair, but I sleep with Serena", but now I just feel like he is a wussy. You can't tell him anything anymore (i.e. him telling Chuck about Blair), and he acts like he is so "above" all the drama (i.e. S and B's little fake fight). I wish he'd go back to sleeping through Chuck's little black book. Boring!

Juliet, what is yo' deal?: Okay, Ben is in jail. I still don't believe it is her brother. What did these kids do to piss Ben and Juliet off? I gotta say, I am hooked into this storyline, because I can't figure it out.

Serena: Thank you for dressing like an American. But I was not a huge fan of that red dress, it made her torso look weird. She, like Nate, is getting a little.... yawn.... for me. It's like "Nate or Dan", "Dan or Nate", bla bla bla. And she's all "the voice of reason" with Blair. I wish they would be at war like Chuck and Blair.

Bits and Pieces: Did Eric enroll in the witness protection? Rufus really isn't letting this Chuck/Jenny thing go. Lily needs some long lost child or husband to pop back in, she gets no screen time at all.

Predictions for next week: I think the rumour Gossip Girl starts is that one of the Elite has an STD.