2011 Oscar Live Blog

Cute opening. James Franco is adorable and Anne Hathaway is more enjoyable than usual. The little movie spoof opener is actually funny. In parts.

They are going to great lengths now to make us care about "doesn't matter" awards. No matter how many clips they show from Gone with the Wind and Titanic, I'm not going to remember these winners' names tomorrow. I don't remember their names now.

Alice in Wonderland wins Best Art Director. This guy may seriously pass out. Did he just offer to saw the Oscar in half, and then place a little top hat on it? Things just took an early turn.

Well, Inception won Cinematography, so I guess we won't have another Gone with the Wind or Titanic. Could have told you that. This genius just chastised the audience for wasting his speech time. Hope you enjoy this- your only Oscar ever.

Someone roll Kirk Douglas' dead body back to the morgue... this is just embarrassing. What did he just confess? He loves what??? Are there subtitles for old people? Obviously he is presenting for some female award because they just showed Giselle from Enchanted and the Witch from Big Fish. I hope the little girl from True Grit wins... for no reason other than that it is the only movie out of these that I have seen.

Seriously... what is Kirk talking about??? Hugh Jackman is laughing because he is Australian? Um, no. He is laughing because you talk worse than "David after the Dentist." Marley Matlin could present better than this.

The Oscar for "Supporter Actress" goes to Marky Mark's white trash mom. She is wearing what looks like a Christmas craft I made in kindergarten. The ones where you fold the paper and then cut out a snow flake? Oh gosh... she just slipped the F word... this is going crazy train fast.

James Franco is divine. I love his facial expression. "Congratu-effin-lations, Melissa." that was awesome.

Does Meg Griffin have a purple tattoo on her boobies?

Is there a reason that these short cartoons have a separate category that gets air time? Cut that out and perform some music or something. Geeze... the winners were seated in the lobby. And one of them is a midget. They produced The Lost Thing. I doubt anyone other than them has ever heard of it. Did the non-midget say his wife was Jennifer Nettle? As in, the country singer? I'll Google it later.

If any movie other than Toy Story 3 wins best Animated Feature, I am going to literally tear my TV off the wall. Whew... I am glad I don't have to.

What is JT talking about "Banksy?"

Was that a dig at the Academy by the Toy Story guy? What is with these people biting the hand that feeds them?

I feel like they keep setting up these intros to montages or video clips... and then... nothing. It is weird. Why do Josh and Javier match?

Best Adapted Screenplay... I want Winter's Bone to win, because I wanted to see it. Oh well... it didn't. But I do want to see the Social Network, too... so no harm.

This guy is a major dork. How long has he been holding onto that Network reference? Okay, bud... music's playing... get off the stage. You can thank Kirk Douglas for that.

Best Original Screenplay- I am pulling for Inception. I loved the movie, and anyone that THOUGHT that up... well he deserves an award.

Did he get it though? No. It went to a movie about a stuttuttererer.

And we are back. Anne is singing Joey Potter's beauty pageant talent song. What is up with all the Hugh Jackman references? I am out of the loop.

And James Franco is in a hot pink dress. Awesome Charlie Sheen reference. I love James Franco.

Best Foreign Language Film... no one cares. No one.

Reese Witherspoon is gorgeous. Although, I do not understand the green earrings with that dress. Best Supporting Actor goes to... I say Geoffrey Rush. And I was wrong. Christian Bale takes it. Has he always been British? I don't recall his expletive laden web feature being in an accent? Did he forget his wife's name? That was awkward.

We are already watching the Oscars, and ABC... so I feel the in-broadcast advertisement was necessary.

A nice little intro to some music awards. I always like this part. Oh lord. They are playing Star Wars... I'm sold.

Best Original Score... it's a toss up between The King's Speech and Inception. Or not. Social Network wins. Bull. Inception's score totally made that movie.

Everything James Franco says makes me laugh. Not out loud, but I do chuckle.

Matthew McCanaughy and ScarJo are presenting an award for Acievement in Sound... do you think these actors are disappointed when they present for crappy awards?

Inception wins. I am so glad. The guy just thanked all three of their wives... and one of the winners is a woman. Her dress made by Hefty should have given it away.

Another award about Sound. Inception wins again. Rightfully so.

Marissa Tomei... love her. If I could only watch 5 movie scenes for the rest of my life, her testimony in My Cousin Vinnie would be one of them. But poor girl... she's presenting the Science awards. That's one step up from interviewing people on the red carpet for the TVGuide channel.

"Congratulations nerds." Love James Franco.

Cate Blanchett looks beautiful. She is presenting the award for Make-up. Of course it would go to The Wolfman. All the other nominees were just regular "put on some eyeliner" movies.

Costume Design... I would like True Grit to win, but it did not. Alice in Wonderland did. It should, but I just didn't want it to. Is this woman reading straight off her note card? You are at the freaking Oscars. Memorize something or just say "Thank you," and get off the stage.

Is this "movie song" thing a commercial or part of the show? I would bet you a million dollars that President Obama's favorite song is NOT As Time Goes By. Now Kevin Spacey is singing some old song that even I have never heard of.

Randy Newman is singing a song from Toy Story 3. Did anyone other than me think that Randy Newman was black?

I am strangely attracted to college Andy from Toy Story 3.

Now Mandy Moore is singing the Song from Tangled. Are they going to sing all the songs all together? I don't like that. But I do like the guy singing with Mandy. (Are you available?)

Okay, forget that guy... Jake Gyllenhaal is on the TV. I need a second.

What is Amy Adams wearing?

I have no idea what Jake said, but I agree and I love him. I love him. Love. Gorgeous. He deserves a better category than Short Documentary.

Live Action Short Film... didn't know this category existed. What is The Crush about? It had a little boy staring dreamily at his teacher... but there was a gun in the title... confusing.

They stick these crappy categories in the middle so you have to watch them. Evil.

"NYU, what's up?" Have I mentioned that I love James Franco.

This T-Pain-esque skit about musicals is hilarious. And that may be the first time I've heard JT sing in 5 years.

Oprah? Really? This is not the Emmy's. She's presenting for Best Documentary. I am calling it for Exit Through the Giftshop... because now I understand the Banksy comments that JT was making. And again, I am wrong. Inside Job takes it. Don't ask me what it is about. Judging by the obnoxious political comments, I am guessing it is about the financial crisis.

Anne is back with a surprise... Billy Crystal. I used to LOVE the Oscars when he hosted! He's doing a bit about Bob Hope... another good host. I'm not sure where this is going though. Montage of old Bob Hope clips. They have him imposed over a podium... half cool and half creepy.

Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law are presenting for some Technology awards. Inception wins for Visual Effects. Social Network wins for Film Editing. One of the guys just asked the other guy to hug it out. Not real sure about that...

James Franco is making comments about how the movie titles are dirty... Winter's Bone. Rabbit Hole. How to Train Your Dragon. The man can do no wrong.

J-Hud is presenting a song by Florence and some other man. It's from 127 Hours, which I will never see, because I get nauseated at the thought of it. Even though I do love James Franco.

Gwyneth Paltrow is singing her song from Country Strong... I love that she sings. That movie was great, and I am impressed that she actually sings herself. Even though that white mic is atrocious.

Best Song goes to... I say the song from Toy Story 3... and this time I am right!! Go Disney!

Celine Dion... I forgot you existed. Oh the In Memoriam... Leslie Nielson. Was that man's name Hickenlooper? Lynn Redgrave. Dennis Hopper. Who was the lady at the end? They didn't put her name?

Oh, hello, Halle Berry... Now I understand. It was Lena Horne.

I'm not a huge Hilary Swank fan, but I love this woman with her. No, I can't recall her name... but she won Best Director last year. She was the first woman, AND she beat her butt-hole ex-husband, James Cameron. I wasn't paying attention to the nominees, but the director for The King's Speech won Best Director.

James Franco always seems to be a little uncomfortable... but I like it.

Not a huge Annette Benning fan either. She's presenting a montage from the Governor's Ball... which looks like "the Oscars go to the Nursing Home."

Now we are getting to the awards that actually matter.

Jeff Bridges always looks smashed. Nicole Kidman looks beautiful. Natalie Portman looks gorgeous pregnant!! When I get pregnant, I will look like a white Precious.

Jen from Dawson's Creek? I forgot she made a movie this year. I am just not over her antics on the Creek, so I can't put my support behind her.

I call Natalie... Correct. That dress is beautiful. I have loved Natalie Portman since she gave birth to a baby in a Wal-Mart.

I am torn between thinking that Anne Hathaway is funny or just annoying. The jury is still out.

I love me some Sandra Bullock :)

I would love for Jeff Bridges to win, because he was awesome in True Grit. But I am thinking that Colin Firth will win for The King's Speech. Nice shout out to General Hospital, which I love.

Called it. Firth wins.

There are three minutes left in the program and there is still Best Picture to award. They need to hurry.

Stephen Spielburg is presenting. He really is the best. Of course, Cowboys and Aliens is set to come out this year.

I am calling The King's Speech to win it, but I am pulling for Toy Story 3. Mainly just because I want to see Tim "the Toolman" Taylor accept an Oscar.

Honestly, Inception or True Grit could win, and I'd love it... because I loved those movies. But I can't honestly say they were the BEST pictures.

I called it.

PS22 kids are singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. All the winners joined them onstage. That is a really cute closing.

In my opinion, the show was a success.

I will be Redboxing a bunch of movies this next week. And isn't that what the Oscar's is really all about? You can't buy a house with a gold statue.

I always have time for a scheme

This was the best episode in weeks... months maybe!

It started off with the Queen B berating her minions over Skype... and being that I love Blair and I love Skype... I knew I'd be a happy camper.

Blair has no doubt bitten off more than she can chew at W. I could tell from the first sight that there would be a Post-It mix up disaster, and it did not fail to deliver. It also cam as no surprise that Serena busted into Blair's place of employment asking for her help. Now, Serena has commented on every episode since Christmas that Blair is "too busy" and has "too much going on," but S deemed it appropriate to pile one more thing on her? Serena's selfishness never ceases to amaze me. But Blair is an undeniable over-achiever, and an addict of schemes... so of course she accepted.

The scheme? To get Eric off the hook for a $100,000 drug deal that somehow involved tulips. Damien was blackmailing Eric to complete this drug deal, by saying that if the drugs were not delivered, Lily would be outed as the forger that she is! Now, I watch Gossip Girl enough to know that the Van der Woodsons can buy themselves out of any trouble... so I don't understand why all the hoops are being jumped through to keep Lily out of trouble. I know what I'd do... I'd call that judge and blackmail HIM into making the whole situation disappear... or I'd pimp Serena out to a Senator and take some pictures, and just nip this thing in the bud from the TOP!

Moving on... In other news, Dan pops in to save the day for Blair at W. Really, he is just trying to take her to lunch as a thank you for reading his article, but come on... we both know they are just making excuses to see each other now. So Blair gives him an assignment: to complete whatever is written on a certain Post-it. Of course Dan messes it up and grabs the Post-It that says "Pick up tulips." And thus, Dan is turned into an unknowing drug mule.

BUT! Blair hasn't been sleeping well, and she wrote the wrong color tulips on the Post-It... so Dan is actually just a flower delivery boy. That seems fitting for the boy from Brooklyn.

Elsewhere in the UES, the Thorpe takeover of Bass industries is getting close. Lily and Chuck stage a fake fight, so that Russell thinks his plan of divide and conquer is working. Lily then takes Russ out to lunch, while Chuck breaks into his offices using the codes that the Captain embezzled last week.

Meanwhile, Nate is babysitting Raina, so that she doesn't bust Chuck for B&E... and so Nate can talk Chuck up and she will fall back in love with him. Chuck, I love you... and I would always pick you over Nate... but maybe not pick such a hot friend to entertain your love interest next time. Nate and Raina end up playing Wii, eating Ice Cream, and making all kinds of memories all day... and by the end of the day, she couldn't have picked Chuck out of a line-up.

This pairing makes more sense to me anyway. Nate needs a story, and they actually have some chemistry... as much as you can have with a robot like Raina. I want Chuck good and single when Blair and Dan finally hook up... because I want him to lose it... and so, he doesn't need any distractions.

Back to the tulips for drugs scenario... It just happens to be Eric's 18th birthday, and Lily has planned a piñata laden theme party for a lot of his friends who have never before been seen on the show. Well, other than Damien, who busted in and demanded his hundred grand for the drug deal gone bad. Serena and Eric immediately go to opening all of his birthday gifts to find his trust fund (how do you wrap a trust fund?) so that he can pay Damien and make this all go away. Lily busts them mid-check and finally takes some responsibility... she will pay Damien. Wow, bad guys never win on GG.

Ben makes like the good ex-con he is and threatens Damien into giving back the money. Vanessa witnesses this altercation, but lucky for Ben, everyone hates Vanessa, so there is no one she can tell. But Damien runs right to Russell Thorpe and offers him information on the VDW/Basses in exchange for $100,000... Damien needs to learn- ask for $200,000 and make a profit! Geeze. That's why you're a drug dealer and not a businessman.

Back to Dan and Blair... Blair is exhausted, just like her pseudo-boyfriend has been telling her all day, and she has forgotten to write the blog she was assigned. She discovers it has been written, and she knows it was Dan. She jets over to the loft to thank him, and they end up eating pizza and watching A Philadelphia Story.

Oh, and Blair had on two different shoes all episode, which apparently in the UES is the same as being completely naked. I thought they looked fine as a pair. Better than anything Vanessa wears.

Facebook Farmville Pharoah

If you are trying to convince the world that you are ready to be your own ruler, this is a great place to start.

Egypt for the win.

Valentine's Vendetta

Serena has turned into a Real Housewife of New York City. She doesn't work. She contributes nothing to society. She thinks she is too cool for the press. She started the episode in a men's oxford, begging B to skip work and go to the spa. She then inserted her foot into her mouth by assuming that the recently released sex-offender had landed a new job with another teenager... does she use her brain? Ever? And then sabotages Blair's big interview with Raina... and why? To protect her? B may buy that, but I don't. Serena thinks she knows so much more than everyone else... even though she has never made a good decision as long as I have known her :)

Chuck needs to settle this mess with the Thorpes. And fast. It is boring, redundant, and I know that it is going to be absolutely pointless to the story once it is over. There is no one that has ever watched one Gossip Girl episode that thinks Chuck is going to possible end up with Raina... or that Russell Thorpe is going to stay on this show past Easter. I have issues with new-comers in real life, I grant you, so it is understandable that it carries over to television... However, I was a complete fan of the Uncle Jack, Olivia, Juliet, and Georgina story lines.... because they actually made a difference. It's something that the main characters can refer back to from time to time. But the Thorpes, they are right up there with Bree Buckley and Agnes Andrews (look it up and realize how much you've forgotten).

Blair spends this whole episode trying to succeed at her never-would-really-happen job. First she has to land an interview with an It Girl, so she picks Raina. Here's my issue with that. 1) I don't like Raina. 2) If Raina is such an It Girl, why did Chuck Bass, ladies man extraordinaire, not recognize her the first time they met? If Chuck Bass didn't know her, no one who reads W is going to know her. Now, of course Blair is just doing this so she can be privy to Chuck's big Valentine's Night. And, of course this completely blows up in her face. But not before Serena talks Raina out of the interview AND makes Blair seem pathetic by not being over Chuck. She then films an interview about how she likes to keep her private life private (i.e. bringing her ex-con pedophile to a big party every weekend). The good ole Queen B did appear though, and publicly dispelled Serena's stupid belief that Ben was tutoring, when in fact, he was serving drinks that even Lonely Boy has become to good for.

Dan shows up to the W party for reasons that I am not completely aware. But, nonetheless, he is there, and it does provide an opportunity for us all to get our Dair on. He and Blair are talking in the "Venice" room that Chuck has built for Raina, but one C and R come in, D and B must hide in what is the largest closet I have ever seen (there was a nice size couch!). Once inside, they overhear Chuck profess his feelings to Raina, including how sacred she is to him. Blair must have felt like a big ole piece of poo. It wasn't eons ago that Chuck traded Blair to Jack for a hotel, and now he is telling Raina that he will give that hotel up for HER? Bull-oh-knee. Don't believe it for a minute. But, Blair must have for a second, because she was holding Lonely Boy's hand for comfort. The episode ends with Blair and Dan watching Rosemary's Baby over the phone... too cute.

The supporting cast, which I'm sorry to say now includes Nate, had little going on. Nate is still talking to the Chief about how he needs to get a job, but not THAT job... Rufus is still getting accustomed to the new leash law... and Nate's dad did finally get fired, but not before he committed another felony and gave Chuck the key codes for Thorpe's offices. The only person whose story contributed to the overall scene was Eric... who, after volunteering at a soup kitchen, met Damien in a dark alley... and I don't mean in any way that Eric might enjoy.

Nuns and Nazis

I'm just going to put this out there.

This week's episode sucked.

What? It did!

Reasons? Well, I'm glad you asked.

1. Who moved my Chair? There is no way, NO WAY, that Blair would be okay with Chuck having "relations" with someone else... much less trying to set up such "relations". The only part of this scenario I actually bought was when Chuck and Blair were on the phone and C told B to "watch it" or something of that nature. I'm insulted that the writers expect me to forget the passion... the love... the jealousy, that so defines Chuck and Blair. It disgusts me. Ugh.

2. Really? Another party? I don't live in New York. I don't work at a big time magazine. So, forgive me if these things actually happen, but why is W having another party so soon? And why, in the world, would Dan and Blair be allowed to attend? Didn't they WRESTLE at the last party? This is one of the major plot holes that GG has: they try to convince the viewer that this is a lifestyle that is unattainable but for the high and mighty... but they seem to let any Tom, Dick, and Ex-Con in at the door. I don't buy the exclusivity, and therefore, the parties always seem more immature than inaccessible.

3. You mean the drug dealer isn't an honest man? Who would have thunk it? Damien is not a good person? I never would have guessed that. All I have to go on is the selling drugs and all his past indiscretions. Oh, you say I should have known? Yes, I should have. Good one Dan and Eric. Idiots.

4. Raina on my parade. I could not, and will not, get on board the Chuck and Raina Traina. The back and forth of "he's using her" and "he loves her"... Truth is, I didn't fully buy either one. I was left feeling more confused and ambivalent towards the whole story. They hid in the same place? Bogus. He's willing to give up his hotel for her? Bull. I can not stand this story and I want her to leave.

5. Serena and Ben. They don't deserve a cute name or a witty lead-in. They are boring. Selfish. So Serena and Rufus worked up this idea of Dan and Ben being roommates? I don't blame Dan one bit for being pissed. I wouldn't want to live with him either! Not too mention that Serena is his sista-lovah, but the guy is kind of a creeper. Sure, he's not technically a sex offender, but he is weird. "You put Max Cady in the living room." -Dan's Cape Fear reference was the #2 quote of the night.

6. Un. Be. Liev. Able. There is no way. No way to Sunday, that Blair would get Epilepsy's job. No way. LAST WEEK- Blair was wrestling with Dan in front of the Editor. I love Blair. I think she could run the country. But would she be given the chance after she Salahi'ed the State Dinner? No. So, be clear... it's not that I don't think Blair can do the job, and do it well... but this whole scenario is redic.

Also unbelievable, but surprisingly not that surprising... Nate's favorite movie is Sound of Music?? Hmmm... of course, Nate has been so uber-boring lately that this actually made me like him. I had forgotten what it was like for Nate's character to have any depth. I had written him off as simply a pawn for Chair and Derena. Of course, this little gem of knowledge provided me with maybe my favorite line of 2011... "It's got nuns and Nazis!"

Did everyone hate this episode? Am I just a snarky, miserable idividual?

Bienvenido a Miami

I don't know how much time Bravo thinks I have, but apparently time enough to spend another hour a week watching stupid rich women. Sure, I could just NOT WATCH IT, but let's be real. That's not going to happen. I will watch it. I will watch it religiously. I will Season Pass that shiz on my Tivo and maybe even watch it twice.

We aren't getting off on the best foot though, because they are pushing my precious RHO New York City back until Spring. Just another reason I'm ready for Winter to be over.

The cast:

Lea Black, wife of famous divorce/defense lawyer, Roy Black. She is an active socialite working for charitable causes and has raised money for many Florida politicians.

Marysol Patton runs the public relations firm, Patton Group and is known to have a psychic mother who prefers to be known as a ‘seer’.

Adriana DeMoura-Sidi is a Brazilian bombshell and an art curator.

Alexia Echevarria is known as the “Cuban Barbie” and is the executive editor of Venue Magazine; Alexia spotlights the latest fashion trends as well as up-and-coming Latin film and TV stars.

Cristy Rice is proud of her Latino roots. Recently divorced from NBA superstar Glen Rice, Cristy has entered a new phase of her life.

Larsa Pippen is known as the Hottest NBA Wife and is married to Scottie Pippen. She is a Lebanese beauty and spends her time between her four kids, her husband, home and shopping.

Doesn't Count

I've been terribly bored and disappointed with GG lately. I'm not sure if the problem lies with my general snarky attitude towards life right now, or if the writing has gotten truly sucky... but either way, I live blogged while watching this week's episode. Translated: I watched and listened, but all I could truly hear are sarcastic comments coming from my mind. Those are included below.

Blair: "A lot of mascara for a friend."
Serena: "Well, you and I both know I don't have any real friends. Just boys that I use up and throw away. Oh, and you remind me of Don Draper."
Blair: "Why? Because I have a job and you live here and mooch off me?"

Lily: "I can't believe my kids haven't forgiven me for forging their names and selling their companies."

Ben: "I'm moving to Vanessa's compound in Ithaca."
Serena: "I've heard Ithaca is beautiful."
Ben: "Really?"
Serena: "No. I've never heard of Ithaca at all. Is it in Europe?"

Blair: "Going to movies is a one or four time thing. We are not friends."
Dan: "You are such a girl."
Blair: "You are such a boy."
Dan: "Let's make out."
Blair: "Don't get your hopes up."

Damien: "I'm sorry Juliet tried to kill you."
Serena: "You are a bad person. All bad people's names are illiterate."
Damien: "Do you mean alliterative? Because my names both start with D?"
Serena: "I don't know my letters yet. And don't correct me. When are you going to learn that what you does hurts people?"
Damien: "Didn't you kill someone?"
Serena: "Doesn't count."

Epilepsy: "Welcome to W. Which stands for We have a lot of parties."

Serena: "This halfway house is just one step up from jail. Why don't they put all ex-cons up in the plaza like the Colonel?"

Dan: "I'm going to pull your hair."
Blair: "I'm going to tell."
Dan: "We are going to make out."
Blair: "Whatev. But yes."

Lily: "Eric you are a liar."
Eric: "I got it from you."
Lily: "Decorem."
Eric: "What?"
Lily: "Class."
Eric: "Are you just using synonyms to try to get me to quit calling you out?"
Lily: "Grace. Bye."

Dan: "I didn't date Serena for two years and not know those are Marc Jacobs and mustard."
(I actually just loved that line.)

(As well as...)
Blair: "Look! It's Georgina's baby."

Nate: "Where have you been?"
Captian: "You're not the boss of me."
Nate: "If you are going to live in Chuck's hotel, then you are going to obey my rules."
Commander: "Fine. I got a job with the new black people."
Nate: "Is that against your probation?"
Lieutenant Colonel: "Probation? I am on PAROLE! Probation is for petty crimes."
Nate: "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
Chief Dog Catcher: "I just want respect. I am good at what I do. And what I do is commit Class A felonies."

Rufus: "Open your mail Lily."
Lily: "No."
Serena: "Open it."
Lily: "It's my taxes."
Serena opens it.
Lily: "Dignity. Polite. Reputation."
Rufus: "What?"
Lily: "I am rolling my eyes because I am rich and morally corrupt, but I KNOW my synonyms!"

Dan: "My author has awards."
Blair: "Mine has more."
Dan: "I stalk Stefano and his niece."
Blair: "Crap. I should've thought of that."

Blair: "I am going around the world to say that Dan is attractive and interesting."
Serena: "Listen to me, B. I make good choices."
Blair: "When?"
Serena: "One time. Not today. I wore satellite dishes as earrings today."

Damien: "Hello Mr. Donovan."
Ben: "Damien Delgard."
Damien: "You say potato judge says pedohile."
Ben: "I didn't say potato."
Damien: "Muahahahaha."

Rufus: "Lly means well."
Eric: "She ruins everything."
Rufus: "Yeah."

Literal gay drama.

Serena: "My brother doesn't hang out with drug."
Ben: "There he is with Doctor Evil... I mean Damien."
Serena: "I won't believe it until I see it with my own eyes."
Ben: "You are seeing it now."
Serena: "You should talk to him. Rufus is a good dad, and Dan's a good brother... but I think what Eric needs right now is to hear from an ex-con who had an innapropriate relationship with his sister and then tried to have her killed."

Raina: "I always tel the truth."
Chuck: "What about when you said you were a secretary?"
Raina: "Doesn't count."

Epilepsy: "Welcome to the W party, where W stands for Wrestling! Take it away interns!"

Nate: "I am not going to tell you again... you cannot work there."
Captain Kangaroo: "I'm good at what I do! I want to earn an honest living."
Nate: "Didn't you get caught embezzling?"
SGA President: "Doesn't count."

Ben: "Hello. I am Mr. Rogers. Here is a lesson."
Eric: "Who are you?"
Ben: "I am Serena's friend."
Eric: "Didn't you try to kill my sister?"
Ben: "Doesn't count."

Rufus: "How did I get in this party?"

Dan: "Epilepsy, please give Blair her job back so she will make out with me."

Rufus: "Ben I am going to move you in my loft without asking my son."
Ben: "That sounds like a great idea."
Rufus: "Here are my keys. Take them back to the house full of ex-cons."

Ben: "Stay away from Serena."
Damien: "Make me."
Ben: "I will tell your dad on you."
Damien: "You like Serena! Na na na boo boo."