They are going to great lengths now to make us care about "doesn't matter" awards. No matter how many clips they show from Gone with the Wind and Titanic, I'm not going to remember these winners' names tomorrow. I don't remember their names now.
Alice in Wonderland wins Best Art Director. This guy may seriously pass out. Did he just offer to saw the Oscar in half, and then place a little top hat on it? Things just took an early turn.
Well, Inception won Cinematography, so I guess we won't have another Gone with the Wind or Titanic. Could have told you that. This genius just chastised the audience for wasting his speech time. Hope you enjoy this- your only Oscar ever.
Someone roll Kirk Douglas' dead body back to the morgue... this is just embarrassing. What did he just confess? He loves what??? Are there subtitles for old people? Obviously he is presenting for some female award because they just showed Giselle from Enchanted and the Witch from Big Fish. I hope the little girl from True Grit wins... for no reason other than that it is the only movie out of these that I have seen.
Seriously... what is Kirk talking about??? Hugh Jackman is laughing because he is Australian? Um, no. He is laughing because you talk worse than "David after the Dentist." Marley Matlin could present better than this.
The Oscar for "Supporter Actress" goes to Marky Mark's white trash mom. She is wearing what looks like a Christmas craft I made in kindergarten. The ones where you fold the paper and then cut out a snow flake? Oh gosh... she just slipped the F word... this is going crazy train fast.
James Franco is divine. I love his facial expression. "Congratu-effin-lations, Melissa." that was awesome.
Does Meg Griffin have a purple tattoo on her boobies?
Is there a reason that these short cartoons have a separate category that gets air time? Cut that out and perform some music or something. Geeze... the winners were seated in the lobby. And one of them is a midget. They produced The Lost Thing. I doubt anyone other than them has ever heard of it. Did the non-midget say his wife was Jennifer Nettle? As in, the country singer? I'll Google it later.
If any movie other than Toy Story 3 wins best Animated Feature, I am going to literally tear my TV off the wall. Whew... I am glad I don't have to.
What is JT talking about "Banksy?"
Was that a dig at the Academy by the Toy Story guy? What is with these people biting the hand that feeds them?
I feel like they keep setting up these intros to montages or video clips... and then... nothing. It is weird. Why do Josh and Javier match?
Best Adapted Screenplay... I want Winter's Bone to win, because I wanted to see it. Oh well... it didn't. But I do want to see the Social Network, too... so no harm.
This guy is a major dork. How long has he been holding onto that Network reference? Okay, bud... music's playing... get off the stage. You can thank Kirk Douglas for that.
Best Original Screenplay- I am pulling for Inception. I loved the movie, and anyone that THOUGHT that up... well he deserves an award.
Did he get it though? No. It went to a movie about a stuttuttererer.
And we are back. Anne is singing Joey Potter's beauty pageant talent song. What is up with all the Hugh Jackman references? I am out of the loop.
And James Franco is in a hot pink dress. Awesome Charlie Sheen reference. I love James Franco.
Best Foreign Language Film... no one cares. No one.
Reese Witherspoon is gorgeous. Although, I do not understand the green earrings with that dress. Best Supporting Actor goes to... I say Geoffrey Rush. And I was wrong. Christian Bale takes it. Has he always been British? I don't recall his expletive laden web feature being in an accent? Did he forget his wife's name? That was awkward.
We are already watching the Oscars, and ABC... so I feel the in-broadcast advertisement was necessary.
A nice little intro to some music awards. I always like this part. Oh lord. They are playing Star Wars... I'm sold.
Best Original Score... it's a toss up between The King's Speech and Inception. Or not. Social Network wins. Bull. Inception's score totally made that movie.
Everything James Franco says makes me laugh. Not out loud, but I do chuckle.
Matthew McCanaughy and ScarJo are presenting an award for Acievement in Sound... do you think these actors are disappointed when they present for crappy awards?
Inception wins. I am so glad. The guy just thanked all three of their wives... and one of the winners is a woman. Her dress made by Hefty should have given it away.
Another award about Sound. Inception wins again. Rightfully so.
Marissa Tomei... love her. If I could only watch 5 movie scenes for the rest of my life, her testimony in My Cousin Vinnie would be one of them. But poor girl... she's presenting the Science awards. That's one step up from interviewing people on the red carpet for the TVGuide channel.
"Congratulations nerds." Love James Franco.
Cate Blanchett looks beautiful. She is presenting the award for Make-up. Of course it would go to The Wolfman. All the other nominees were just regular "put on some eyeliner" movies.
Costume Design... I would like True Grit to win, but it did not. Alice in Wonderland did. It should, but I just didn't want it to. Is this woman reading straight off her note card? You are at the freaking Oscars. Memorize something or just say "Thank you," and get off the stage.
Is this "movie song" thing a commercial or part of the show? I would bet you a million dollars that President Obama's favorite song is NOT As Time Goes By. Now Kevin Spacey is singing some old song that even I have never heard of.
Randy Newman is singing a song from Toy Story 3. Did anyone other than me think that Randy Newman was black?
I am strangely attracted to college Andy from Toy Story 3.
Now Mandy Moore is singing the Song from Tangled. Are they going to sing all the songs all together? I don't like that. But I do like the guy singing with Mandy. (Are you available?)
Okay, forget that guy... Jake Gyllenhaal is on the TV. I need a second.
What is Amy Adams wearing?
I have no idea what Jake said, but I agree and I love him. I love him. Love. Gorgeous. He deserves a better category than Short Documentary.
Live Action Short Film... didn't know this category existed. What is The Crush about? It had a little boy staring dreamily at his teacher... but there was a gun in the title... confusing.
They stick these crappy categories in the middle so you have to watch them. Evil.
"NYU, what's up?" Have I mentioned that I love James Franco.
This T-Pain-esque skit about musicals is hilarious. And that may be the first time I've heard JT sing in 5 years.
Oprah? Really? This is not the Emmy's. She's presenting for Best Documentary. I am calling it for Exit Through the Giftshop... because now I understand the Banksy comments that JT was making. And again, I am wrong. Inside Job takes it. Don't ask me what it is about. Judging by the obnoxious political comments, I am guessing it is about the financial crisis.
Anne is back with a surprise... Billy Crystal. I used to LOVE the Oscars when he hosted! He's doing a bit about Bob Hope... another good host. I'm not sure where this is going though. Montage of old Bob Hope clips. They have him imposed over a podium... half cool and half creepy.
Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law are presenting for some Technology awards. Inception wins for Visual Effects. Social Network wins for Film Editing. One of the guys just asked the other guy to hug it out. Not real sure about that...
James Franco is making comments about how the movie titles are dirty... Winter's Bone. Rabbit Hole. How to Train Your Dragon. The man can do no wrong.
J-Hud is presenting a song by Florence and some other man. It's from 127 Hours, which I will never see, because I get nauseated at the thought of it. Even though I do love James Franco.
Gwyneth Paltrow is singing her song from Country Strong... I love that she sings. That movie was great, and I am impressed that she actually sings herself. Even though that white mic is atrocious.
Best Song goes to... I say the song from Toy Story 3... and this time I am right!! Go Disney!
Celine Dion... I forgot you existed. Oh the In Memoriam... Leslie Nielson. Was that man's name Hickenlooper? Lynn Redgrave. Dennis Hopper. Who was the lady at the end? They didn't put her name?
Oh, hello, Halle Berry... Now I understand. It was Lena Horne.
I'm not a huge Hilary Swank fan, but I love this woman with her. No, I can't recall her name... but she won Best Director last year. She was the first woman, AND she beat her butt-hole ex-husband, James Cameron. I wasn't paying attention to the nominees, but the director for The King's Speech won Best Director.
James Franco always seems to be a little uncomfortable... but I like it.
Not a huge Annette Benning fan either. She's presenting a montage from the Governor's Ball... which looks like "the Oscars go to the Nursing Home."
Now we are getting to the awards that actually matter.
Jeff Bridges always looks smashed. Nicole Kidman looks beautiful. Natalie Portman looks gorgeous pregnant!! When I get pregnant, I will look like a white Precious.
Jen from Dawson's Creek? I forgot she made a movie this year. I am just not over her antics on the Creek, so I can't put my support behind her.
I call Natalie... Correct. That dress is beautiful. I have loved Natalie Portman since she gave birth to a baby in a Wal-Mart.
I am torn between thinking that Anne Hathaway is funny or just annoying. The jury is still out.
I love me some Sandra Bullock :)
I would love for Jeff Bridges to win, because he was awesome in True Grit. But I am thinking that Colin Firth will win for The King's Speech. Nice shout out to General Hospital, which I love.
Called it. Firth wins.
There are three minutes left in the program and there is still Best Picture to award. They need to hurry.
Stephen Spielburg is presenting. He really is the best. Of course, Cowboys and Aliens is set to come out this year.
I am calling The King's Speech to win it, but I am pulling for Toy Story 3. Mainly just because I want to see Tim "the Toolman" Taylor accept an Oscar.
Honestly, Inception or True Grit could win, and I'd love it... because I loved those movies. But I can't honestly say they were the BEST pictures.
I called it.
PS22 kids are singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. All the winners joined them onstage. That is a really cute closing.
In my opinion, the show was a success.
I will be Redboxing a bunch of movies this next week. And isn't that what the Oscar's is really all about? You can't buy a house with a gold statue.
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