Systematic Bullying!!

I enjoyed last night's episode. I thought it was immature, sexy, and vindictive... exactly how GG is supposed to be. I have to admit that when they were all outside of the Ballet circling Juliet like a pack of angry pirahnas, I could hear Kelly Killoren Bensimon screaming at the UES about how "systematic bullying is never okay." But I loved it! In honor of the UES (and the Brooklynites) all returning to true form, I'll take them one-by-one.

Naturally first, Serena: It is safe to say that we could take one of those Men In Black memory erasers, block out everything that has happened this season thus far (as it pertains to S), and we would be caught up! Dan or Nate? Nate or Dan? Boob or leg? Both, you say? Okay! This girl has issues. I think I would like S more if she would embrace her inability to commit to one man and just be the "free spirit" that she was in Paris. I prefer Dan, because even though he is safe, being with a Brooklynite (and her step brother) would be rebellious, and that suits Serena better than being the next Mrs. Archibald. But, back to THIS episode: the whiplash I get from her Dan-Nate-{substitute random guy's name} triangles should entitle me to a nice insurance settlement. I didn't really follow the logic of the breakup with Colin... unless the forbidden love was the only thing that drew them to each other; without the secrecy, it's boring. I do agree that she was only with Colin to avoid choosing between Dan and Nate, but she never seemed upset enough, to me, when they were with Vanessa and Juliet. If you're really THAT hung up on a (couple of) guy(s), you're not going to be able to hang out with them and their new girlfriend. I think Serena's ability to be head over heels in love with a guy, at the drop of a hat, is what irritates me the most. That and her insistence on saying "academic career" once an episode. And sometimes her voice.

Nathaniel: Nate, in my opinion, is the underdog in the Nate vs. Dan war (even though they couldn't act like they were less at war). Of course, he's the obvious choice, but it's Serena we're talking about here, so of course she's not going to pick him. The thing I like least about Nate is his naivete, and the urgency with which he acts on said naivete. Let me break down this episode: 1.Nate finds that Juliet was lying, so he immediately goes to Vanessa to acknowledge that she is innocent and they create a secret opps team 2.Juliet tells him that she washes her own hair and shops at Ikea and he immediately forgives her and abandons Vanessa 3.He sees Jul and V in action at the Ballet and immediately falls back in love with Serena 4.He immediately walks to Serena's building and professes his love for her, even thought she just ignored his phone call. Nate! You're gorgeous! You're rich! You're gorgeous! Did anyone else wonder why he didn't question Juliet about the sex-for-grades accusation that Vanessa took the fall for? Did anyone wonder why Nate Archibald was walking around Manhattan by himself? Did anyone else rewind to hear if Nate's cover story was really "Chuck is asking where the batteries are"? Did anyone think to, oh I don't know, ASK WHY BEN IS IN JAIL?

Lonely Boy: Dan is back in true Lonely Boy fashion. "I would have done anything for you." "You are worth more than a guest lecture at Columbia." Dan, ease up buddy. All this sap is making your hair curl. Oh, you did that on purpose? Moving on... I do however, think Dan's "Watching or participating?" line in response to Serena's question about the ballet was superb, and classic Dan. I do not like Dan and Vanessa as luvaahs, so I am a fan of anyone and anything that comes in between them (even if that is Serena). Yes, I cracked on his hair, but Dan is actually looking quite handsome lately, and I will go on the record and throw my support behind him in the Serena wars. (Penn and Blake have a ton more chemistry than she does with Chase). I do find it disheartening that he was so quick to believe Juliet over Vanessa in the sex-for-grades email debacle, but I think there is still more to come from that story... even though it seems that Vanessa is refusing to let go of the shovel and just keeps digging that hole.

Speaking of V: She has got to get it together! If we were friends, this is what I would tell her. "Vanessa, comb your hair. Then, forget Dan and go after Nate. He is heartbroken at the realization that he has been duped yet again by a lady, and he needs a shoulder. You can help him get over Serena and realize you're the only girl for him. You can bond over your mutual loathing of S and D and talk about how Dan betrayed the both of you for Serena. It will be so romantic! Oh, and seriously, comb your hair." What was she thinking bringing about the new evil duo of Juliet and Jenny!?!

J and J: There is no combo suitable to take on anyone that has Chuck+Blair in their corner, but if there ever were one that could come close- it would be Juliet and Jenny. They have nothing to lose, and that's a dangerous motivator. Next week looks awesome (mainly because Katie Cassidy is going back to her Melrose Place blonde), and I cannot wait to see how easily Dan and Nate are fooled into thinking the girl behind the mask is Serena, even thought S is a strange amazonian giant that is taller than both Jenny and Juliet. I'm just seriously hoping they map it out so that Jenny and Dan don't end up having to kiss.... a step sister is as close as we need to go.

Chuck and Blair: I know I said I would cover everyone one-by-one, but I am just enjoying them together too much to split them up, even for one blog post. Last night's episode wasn't as raunchy as I had anticipated, but actually more... sweet? I did find the conversation between Chuck and his driver off-putting, but him in Blair's purple robe was hilarious. Last night, Blair and Chuck provided the light hearted "comedy" side that GG does so well. But then, when he carried her up those stairs... well I for one completely forgot about Jenny and Eva and all that that entailed. And I have a feeling that Chuck and Blair did as well.