Calm Down and Get Straight

I don't know if anyone is reading this... and I don't know if of the maybe 2 people that are, either have ever seen Little Shop of Horrors (the movie)... but there is a part in that movie where Audrey and Seymour are singing their little hearts out to each other in the alley... and Bill Murray's character walks in and says, "Excuse me, but if you two kids could just stop singing for one minute..."

Well, that is how I felt from 8pm-9pm last night while I was watching Grey's Anatomy: Song Beneath the Song.

Honestly, I don't even know where, or how, to begin. I'll start with a positive: Callie has an amazing voice... and the fact that she was in limbo or brain damaged or just punch drunk with love for Arizona, kind of made her singing seem appropriate. I laughed, I will admit, with the first note that was sung... but I could at least distend belief long enough to let her finish a song. Because she wasn't singing TO anyone, she was just putting her thoughts to songs she'd heard. Or some crazy bull mess that makes no sense. Whatever. It's the only positive I have.

Now, on to the best parts... Let's approach this like a true musical. By numbers. (but only those that made a lasting impression on me... and by that, I mean the bad ones.)

Chasing Cars... by Hunt, Torres, and Bailey

I can't remember what was happening on the episode that this song was originally played, but I do remember that I went and illegally downloaded Chasing Cars that same night. So, I can concede the point that Grey's has done big things for music... but still, it does not justify a musical! Dr. Hunt was the kicker for me. When he was looking at Callie, and just started singing, so intensely, the second verse... I lost it. I mean, I literally lost it. I, all at once, had to cover my eyes and my mouth, as I was about to spit water all over myself and everything in a 3 foot radius. There was no way I could be legitimately concerned for Callie's life, or that of her baby, because I was too busy cracking up at how seriously he was taking this nonsense.

Breathe... by Lexie

Considering this song is about, first, a girl going to get an abortion, and second, a young alcoholic soldier... I didn't get the connection. Were they trying to pull in every song that had ever been played on all 7 seasons? I understood that people did need to "just breathe," but I did not particularly love Lexie's voice (and she's been my favorite character since she came on the show), and I definitely thought it was a bit extreme that Callie was imagining Lexie walking down the hall singing Anna Nalick while she ripped her surgical mask off. This was my first "what the H is going on" moment.

Running on Sunshine... pretty much everyone, except McDreamy because he has a brain.

This. Was. Ridiculous. First of all, isn't everyone supposed to be super worried about their friend and her baby? Yet, Teddy is flirting it up with her patient/husband while he sings about a "rocket in his front left pocket." Is this an April Fools joke? Bailey and her nurse lover are bantering about getting it on in the hallway, and Karev is throwing the OBGYN around his trailer. My bad... I thought maybe the gyno should be with her patient that is minutes from death. The only scene in this song that seemed anywhere near appropriate was Meredith and McDreamy. He at least made a point to let the audience know that he was still thinking about Callie, and not his next solo. But that is because Patrick Dempsey is a genius and opted out of all musical numbers. When a man that had the lead in Enchanted tells you that a musical is not a good idea, maybe listen.

How to Save a Life... by Torres and others (can only remember one part of it)

This was okay. I liked how Callie was in the observation deck (or whatever it is called) with her baby daddy and lesbian lover. It was as if she was singing TO them, and that made semi-sense to me. Ok, that's all for that one.

How We Operate... by Hunt

Another one that had me burying my face out of embarrassment. I can't tell if it is because I don't like Hunt in the first place, or that he sings like he is delivering marching orders for a brigade, but I was physically uncomfortable every time the focus was on him. All the attendings are discussing literal life-and-death matters, and out of the blue (which, I will admit, I should have been expecting by now), Hunt sings "calm down, and get straight" (and don't think the irony of him saying that to Arizona was lost on me), and then he just lets loose. I hope when he wrote that song, Gomez knew the medical treatment that Callie would need... because it became apparent that it was the only direction that any of her doctors would be receiving.

Were you a fan of the music event? Or has Grey's Anatomy jumped the shark?

Better Late Than Never

I'm in a snarky mood. You've been warned.

Last week on Grey's, there was a mass murder at a local college. Let's all hope that this gives everyone the closure they need.

Because, I, for one, am ready to move on. This mass murder has been milked for all it's worth.

Here's what we learned:

Ginger kids will always be outcasts, and therefore are the most likely to shoot up their school.

Lesbians can hold grudges even harder and longer than hetero women.

When Dr. Hunt is screaming about the need for ALL AVAILABLE DOCTORS, he isn't including himself, because his place is running around looking through windows at Christina... even though he is THE trauma surgeon.

All it took to get Christina back in the saddle was to jam her hand into a man's chest. Duh.

Oprah is, in fact, married, and her husband is a well-liked professor at a college in Seattle.

Not all doctors take a Hippocratic Oath, some take a Hypocritic Oath, and will only operate on people they deem worthy. (Yeah, I'm talking to you Avery.)

Pacific College has the most depressing Alma Mater I have ever heard.

Now, there were some moments, that even I could appreciate:

Anything involving McDreamy still melts my heart.

I also thought it was genius how "Chuck" was the man that Bailey saved in this episode, since "Charles" was the doctor that died in her arms in the original mass murder.

Mark and Lexie are making headway, and I am on board for that. He looked adorable when he was stitching up that girl's arm. Presh.

Surgery is when you get saved, but post-op is when you heal

Swingers: I loved Meredith and Owen's scenes. They are both mad at Christina, but they feel helpless... so they take it out on each other because they don't want to blame themselves, or her. I also loved Christina and Derek's fishing trip. He just gets McDreamier with every show. Of course HE would know how to fix Christina. I mean he got dark and twisty Meredith to settle down; I can't believe Meredith ever doubted him.

I Bought You a Delicious Bass: Okay, I know that is from Napoleon Dynamite, but that's all I kept thinking when Christina was holding that fish (and I know it was a trout, not a bass). The significance? This may be too deep, but- I think she looked at her hands, and realized those hands had been in bodies, hearts... DEREK'S heart in particular. That she had saved people with those hands. And now? Now those hands were holding a trout. I think for her, that was her "I'm getting off the bathroom floor" moment that Izzie had after Denny died. She was waking up after her nightmare, and yes, she would still remember it, but she was moving on. Christina is back.

Fistula: I enjoy anything with Bailey, and this story was no different. Yes, it was kind of the funny filler for this episode, but I liked it. First of all, Avery is fine. Second, Lexie is my favorite right now. And the Virgin (sorry, I can't remember her name) was actually not annoying this time. I'm glad Eli will be around some more. Bailey needs some loving, and I like his attitude.

I Want to Marry Teddy: Do I like her? No. Am I switching teams? No. Do I have a pre-existing condition that makes it hard to pick up health care? Yes. What the crap kind of insurance does she have that he isn't going to have a "waiting period" where none of his pre-existing conditions are covered!? I have this problem... I can watch TV shows and fall into the most implausible storyline, but occasionally a small, mundane, nugget of that-would-never-happen pops up and I can't get past it. I completely recognize the fact that me being more upset at this than I was at say, Izzie having an affair with a GHOST, is MY thing. Grey's has great writing and great stories, and I am just a freak.

More on that: Aside from me being a freak show, I like Teddy marrying this guy. I don't think he'll die (We don't need a Denny part deux), and I've liked Scott Foley since Party of Five (wasn't that him?). As long as they don't make this some political platform for US health care, I am on board for this story and seeing how it plays out.

Lady Love: I'm glad Arizona is back. I love her. How is she going to react to the fact that Callie has been having comfort-hetero-sex with McSteamy? I think not so kindly. I'm not always the biggest Callie fan, so I'm not too invested in this.

We suffered a mass murder

Well Grey's is back, and I think it will be a banner year. I can't put up with another lackluster season just because they have feature film worthy finales. That said, I thoroughly enjoyed last night's premiere. It didn't drag out their grief and it got back to the hospital, which is why people tune in. Below are some key observations from last night's episode.

Christina and Owen getting married- I don't like Owen. I just don't. But I did enjoy seeing a more vulnerable side of Christina. Although I did get the feeling that she was only marrying him because she is afraid to ever be alone.

Mark and Lexie- they are my fave couple on the show right now. He gets hotter each episode, and I have always been a Lexie fan. She, to me, was the best part of last night's episode. I wanted to see more of her breakdown. She was GREAT in that therapy scene where she started spouting off her photographic-memory account of mass murder. And she really stuck it to Alex in the kitchen.

Derek resigning as Chief- I feel that they rushed this story. We were only 10 minutes into the season premiere and it was as if the whole last season (i.e. Webber getting canned because of the drinking) was erased. It was almost as if Shonda said, "I call Do Over!" I like The Chief being Chief, better than Derek being Chief, but I wasn't completely on board with how it was done. Why would the Board reinstate him that quickly after all the alcoholoc stuff from last year. HOWEVER, maybe I missed this: Had he been performing as interim Chief during Derek's rehab? If so, that makes more sense. But still the whole Jerry-Maguire-esqe "I quit" was a little odd to me.

Meredith's miscarriage and the such- I love that she had a miscarriage. I am the devil!! But Grey's is definitely for dark and twisty, so it's okay. I read that Shonda had Meredith suffer a miscarriage so that Meredith could decide whether SHE wanted babies. I love that. It's better than her being pregnant or there being another baby. Sometimes I don't like people having babies on TV. Not yet for MerDer anyway. And I love that she hasn't told him. It's that pregnant (no pun intended) tension in every conversation they have. LOVED the scene where he says, "Let's make a baby." Her face. His scar. Genius.

Bailey and her blues- I love me some Bailey. I wanted her to stay with her hot man. But I like how she resented him for not having gone through what she went through. She knows, logically, that he isn't to blame for playing golf that day. But her heart is jealous and angry, and no one can emote like Bailey. I hope they work it out though, because girl needs some lovin.

The lesbots- I still don't like watching them kiss. Does that make me a homophobe? (my pal TallyHo says this: maybe it's bc kali is so large and in charge) Aside from that, I love them. Arizona is up there with my favorites, and I like her and Callie's relationship- be it friendship or love. I totally understand why Arizona doesn't want to have babies, too.

My wishes- I want Mandy Moore to come back. I think (because I read it) that she will, and that will be the catalyst for Bailey really dealing with her PTSD. I also want Teddy to leave. I hate her.