First Quarter 2011

I don't make New Year's Resolutions.

I understand my limits, and I acknowledge that I won't stick with it for more than a month.

So, I make a resolution each month.

These were my resolutions, and the outcome of such, for the first quarter of 2011.

January: Cut Back on Celebrity Gossip

Note that this says Celebrity Gossip and not Celebrity News. I still enjoy reading stories of who got married or divorced, or who had a baby... or especially who died (I know, issues). But I was tired of reading all the stories that I knew were probably false, however juicy they may be. I completed this resolution by deleting my subscription to Perez Hilton's blog. There is no telling how much time and energy I wasted reading that mean man's opinion of celebrities. The thing was, I didn't like or agree with 90% of what he said, but I had gotten addicted to reading and knowing everything that was out there, no matter the source. I decided that the wanting to know wasn't necessarily the problem, but I had to watch where I was getting my fix. I now only read more reputable and positive websites. Deleting that negativity that comes from reading a grown man call a woman fat or draw lude pictures on a man's face... I can't tell you how much lighter my RSS Feed has gotten :)

February: Engage in Conversation with Other People

I hate conversing with other people. Now, don't get me wrong, I could sit and talk to my friends for hours... but strangers? No. Acquaintances? Even worse, because they expect you to actually care. I chose this resolution for February because it is the shortest month and I needed to save those 2 or 3 extra days for something I could actually stand. I resolved to respond and engage with every person that spoke to me for this entire month. When someone says, "Hey, how are you?" I usually say, "Fine." That's it. No, "Fine, how are you?" just "Fine." And let me tell you, you're lucky you get those 4 little letters. I will walk 5 minutes out of my way to avoid a conversation. It makes me nervous and uncomfortable to have to make conversation, so I promised myself that I would start small and simply return greetings and ask about people's general state of being... in person and on Facebook. So I Hey'd and Hi'd my way through half the month just fine... and then I realized what a grievous error I had made. My birthday falls right in the middle of the month of February, and it was on a Sunday this year. Which meant that I would be at church for 6 hours, with at least 200 people that usually speak to me, and they would ALL speak because it was my freaking birthday... not to mention the random weirdos that I had to say Thank-you-how-are-you to on Facebook (why do you wish random people happy birthday?). So I took a deep breath and Thank-you-How-are-you-doing'ed my way through my whole birthday, and I will say... after the day was over, I felt more social than the rest of my life combined.

March: Floss Every Day

More than anything else, this was decided because I had a dentist appointment at the beginning of March. But it is something we should all do, and it is something that I detest doing. After begging my dental hygienist to give up all hopes of me actually flossing, she granted me her blessing on using those little slingshot looking flossers. I told her I could do that. So, I resolved to do so every day for the month of March, and I did. I actually don't mind doing it at all, since I don't have to actually use the string of floss and stick my hands in my mouth. I realize that after January and February's Make-Me-A-Better-Person resolutions, this one seems trivial, but there are only so many character flaws that I am actually willing to change.

You know what is hilarious....

Laughing at a Fat Booth photo on Facebook.

And then realizing it is real.

2011 Oscar Live Blog

Cute opening. James Franco is adorable and Anne Hathaway is more enjoyable than usual. The little movie spoof opener is actually funny. In parts.

They are going to great lengths now to make us care about "doesn't matter" awards. No matter how many clips they show from Gone with the Wind and Titanic, I'm not going to remember these winners' names tomorrow. I don't remember their names now.

Alice in Wonderland wins Best Art Director. This guy may seriously pass out. Did he just offer to saw the Oscar in half, and then place a little top hat on it? Things just took an early turn.

Well, Inception won Cinematography, so I guess we won't have another Gone with the Wind or Titanic. Could have told you that. This genius just chastised the audience for wasting his speech time. Hope you enjoy this- your only Oscar ever.

Someone roll Kirk Douglas' dead body back to the morgue... this is just embarrassing. What did he just confess? He loves what??? Are there subtitles for old people? Obviously he is presenting for some female award because they just showed Giselle from Enchanted and the Witch from Big Fish. I hope the little girl from True Grit wins... for no reason other than that it is the only movie out of these that I have seen.

Seriously... what is Kirk talking about??? Hugh Jackman is laughing because he is Australian? Um, no. He is laughing because you talk worse than "David after the Dentist." Marley Matlin could present better than this.

The Oscar for "Supporter Actress" goes to Marky Mark's white trash mom. She is wearing what looks like a Christmas craft I made in kindergarten. The ones where you fold the paper and then cut out a snow flake? Oh gosh... she just slipped the F word... this is going crazy train fast.

James Franco is divine. I love his facial expression. "Congratu-effin-lations, Melissa." that was awesome.

Does Meg Griffin have a purple tattoo on her boobies?

Is there a reason that these short cartoons have a separate category that gets air time? Cut that out and perform some music or something. Geeze... the winners were seated in the lobby. And one of them is a midget. They produced The Lost Thing. I doubt anyone other than them has ever heard of it. Did the non-midget say his wife was Jennifer Nettle? As in, the country singer? I'll Google it later.

If any movie other than Toy Story 3 wins best Animated Feature, I am going to literally tear my TV off the wall. Whew... I am glad I don't have to.

What is JT talking about "Banksy?"

Was that a dig at the Academy by the Toy Story guy? What is with these people biting the hand that feeds them?

I feel like they keep setting up these intros to montages or video clips... and then... nothing. It is weird. Why do Josh and Javier match?

Best Adapted Screenplay... I want Winter's Bone to win, because I wanted to see it. Oh well... it didn't. But I do want to see the Social Network, too... so no harm.

This guy is a major dork. How long has he been holding onto that Network reference? Okay, bud... music's playing... get off the stage. You can thank Kirk Douglas for that.

Best Original Screenplay- I am pulling for Inception. I loved the movie, and anyone that THOUGHT that up... well he deserves an award.

Did he get it though? No. It went to a movie about a stuttuttererer.

And we are back. Anne is singing Joey Potter's beauty pageant talent song. What is up with all the Hugh Jackman references? I am out of the loop.

And James Franco is in a hot pink dress. Awesome Charlie Sheen reference. I love James Franco.

Best Foreign Language Film... no one cares. No one.

Reese Witherspoon is gorgeous. Although, I do not understand the green earrings with that dress. Best Supporting Actor goes to... I say Geoffrey Rush. And I was wrong. Christian Bale takes it. Has he always been British? I don't recall his expletive laden web feature being in an accent? Did he forget his wife's name? That was awkward.

We are already watching the Oscars, and ABC... so I feel the in-broadcast advertisement was necessary.

A nice little intro to some music awards. I always like this part. Oh lord. They are playing Star Wars... I'm sold.

Best Original Score... it's a toss up between The King's Speech and Inception. Or not. Social Network wins. Bull. Inception's score totally made that movie.

Everything James Franco says makes me laugh. Not out loud, but I do chuckle.

Matthew McCanaughy and ScarJo are presenting an award for Acievement in Sound... do you think these actors are disappointed when they present for crappy awards?

Inception wins. I am so glad. The guy just thanked all three of their wives... and one of the winners is a woman. Her dress made by Hefty should have given it away.

Another award about Sound. Inception wins again. Rightfully so.

Marissa Tomei... love her. If I could only watch 5 movie scenes for the rest of my life, her testimony in My Cousin Vinnie would be one of them. But poor girl... she's presenting the Science awards. That's one step up from interviewing people on the red carpet for the TVGuide channel.

"Congratulations nerds." Love James Franco.

Cate Blanchett looks beautiful. She is presenting the award for Make-up. Of course it would go to The Wolfman. All the other nominees were just regular "put on some eyeliner" movies.

Costume Design... I would like True Grit to win, but it did not. Alice in Wonderland did. It should, but I just didn't want it to. Is this woman reading straight off her note card? You are at the freaking Oscars. Memorize something or just say "Thank you," and get off the stage.

Is this "movie song" thing a commercial or part of the show? I would bet you a million dollars that President Obama's favorite song is NOT As Time Goes By. Now Kevin Spacey is singing some old song that even I have never heard of.

Randy Newman is singing a song from Toy Story 3. Did anyone other than me think that Randy Newman was black?

I am strangely attracted to college Andy from Toy Story 3.

Now Mandy Moore is singing the Song from Tangled. Are they going to sing all the songs all together? I don't like that. But I do like the guy singing with Mandy. (Are you available?)

Okay, forget that guy... Jake Gyllenhaal is on the TV. I need a second.

What is Amy Adams wearing?

I have no idea what Jake said, but I agree and I love him. I love him. Love. Gorgeous. He deserves a better category than Short Documentary.

Live Action Short Film... didn't know this category existed. What is The Crush about? It had a little boy staring dreamily at his teacher... but there was a gun in the title... confusing.

They stick these crappy categories in the middle so you have to watch them. Evil.

"NYU, what's up?" Have I mentioned that I love James Franco.

This T-Pain-esque skit about musicals is hilarious. And that may be the first time I've heard JT sing in 5 years.

Oprah? Really? This is not the Emmy's. She's presenting for Best Documentary. I am calling it for Exit Through the Giftshop... because now I understand the Banksy comments that JT was making. And again, I am wrong. Inside Job takes it. Don't ask me what it is about. Judging by the obnoxious political comments, I am guessing it is about the financial crisis.

Anne is back with a surprise... Billy Crystal. I used to LOVE the Oscars when he hosted! He's doing a bit about Bob Hope... another good host. I'm not sure where this is going though. Montage of old Bob Hope clips. They have him imposed over a podium... half cool and half creepy.

Robert Downey, Jr and Jude Law are presenting for some Technology awards. Inception wins for Visual Effects. Social Network wins for Film Editing. One of the guys just asked the other guy to hug it out. Not real sure about that...

James Franco is making comments about how the movie titles are dirty... Winter's Bone. Rabbit Hole. How to Train Your Dragon. The man can do no wrong.

J-Hud is presenting a song by Florence and some other man. It's from 127 Hours, which I will never see, because I get nauseated at the thought of it. Even though I do love James Franco.

Gwyneth Paltrow is singing her song from Country Strong... I love that she sings. That movie was great, and I am impressed that she actually sings herself. Even though that white mic is atrocious.

Best Song goes to... I say the song from Toy Story 3... and this time I am right!! Go Disney!

Celine Dion... I forgot you existed. Oh the In Memoriam... Leslie Nielson. Was that man's name Hickenlooper? Lynn Redgrave. Dennis Hopper. Who was the lady at the end? They didn't put her name?

Oh, hello, Halle Berry... Now I understand. It was Lena Horne.

I'm not a huge Hilary Swank fan, but I love this woman with her. No, I can't recall her name... but she won Best Director last year. She was the first woman, AND she beat her butt-hole ex-husband, James Cameron. I wasn't paying attention to the nominees, but the director for The King's Speech won Best Director.

James Franco always seems to be a little uncomfortable... but I like it.

Not a huge Annette Benning fan either. She's presenting a montage from the Governor's Ball... which looks like "the Oscars go to the Nursing Home."

Now we are getting to the awards that actually matter.

Jeff Bridges always looks smashed. Nicole Kidman looks beautiful. Natalie Portman looks gorgeous pregnant!! When I get pregnant, I will look like a white Precious.

Jen from Dawson's Creek? I forgot she made a movie this year. I am just not over her antics on the Creek, so I can't put my support behind her.

I call Natalie... Correct. That dress is beautiful. I have loved Natalie Portman since she gave birth to a baby in a Wal-Mart.

I am torn between thinking that Anne Hathaway is funny or just annoying. The jury is still out.

I love me some Sandra Bullock :)

I would love for Jeff Bridges to win, because he was awesome in True Grit. But I am thinking that Colin Firth will win for The King's Speech. Nice shout out to General Hospital, which I love.

Called it. Firth wins.

There are three minutes left in the program and there is still Best Picture to award. They need to hurry.

Stephen Spielburg is presenting. He really is the best. Of course, Cowboys and Aliens is set to come out this year.

I am calling The King's Speech to win it, but I am pulling for Toy Story 3. Mainly just because I want to see Tim "the Toolman" Taylor accept an Oscar.

Honestly, Inception or True Grit could win, and I'd love it... because I loved those movies. But I can't honestly say they were the BEST pictures.

I called it.

PS22 kids are singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. All the winners joined them onstage. That is a really cute closing.

In my opinion, the show was a success.

I will be Redboxing a bunch of movies this next week. And isn't that what the Oscar's is really all about? You can't buy a house with a gold statue.

Facebook Farmville Pharoah

If you are trying to convince the world that you are ready to be your own ruler, this is a great place to start.

Egypt for the win.

Oh No He Didn't

Facebook is about to piss me off.

No, I didn't get hacked. I am not getting stalked. My privacy has been no more compromised than I allow it to be. Mark Z. has announced a new Facebook program that he so affectionately dubbed a "Gmail killer."

'xcuse me?? Surely I didn't hear him correctly. You're planning on killing my beloved Google Mail? With my sweet little Gchat? With my Google Reader built right in? With my handy dandy Google Calendar? Over my dead body.

I love Facebook, let me say that first (even though this is at least paragraph 2). I do. I love reconnecting with old friends (even though, if we were really friends we wouldn't need Facebook). Okay fine! I really just love Facebook because I am 90% nosey and 10% self-absorbed. I like to know what people are doing, when they break up, when they have bambinos. And I enjoy that there are people out there who feel that way about me! Plus, I hate talking on the phone, and Facebook is a way to contact people whose email I may not have. Which, I suppose, that is why they thought of this whole Facebook Email in the first place.

But I digress.... I will not switch to Facebook Email or whatever it will be called. I may get a facebook email address, just because it's free and I am a hoarder of sorts, but will I use it? Doubtful. Here's the cut and dry of why:

1. Privacy concerns. I trust Facebook with my photos. I trust Facebook with my friends' names. Would I trust Facebook with my credit card information? Um, no. I don't think you can reasonably post a picture of yourself photobombing at your friend's wedding under the same account with which you pay your student loans. I might as well hand over my diploma and my bank account. Some things just need to stay separate for sanity's sake. (BTW, this is the only semi-mature reason I have.)

2. It sounds ridiculous. When I say xxxx@gmail, I sound hip. I sound young and techno and cool. If someone told me that they used AOL, I would think they were old as dirt and probably only check their email once a month. But if someone told me that their primary email was @facebook.com, I would think that they spend umpteen hours a day on Farmville, fight in Mafia Wars, and are going to forward me a lot of crap I don't care about. Yes, Facebook is the new hot thing (even though I've had mine since 2003, when it was still a COLLEGE networking site), but it still has a certain immature connotation ingrained with it.

3. Gmail killer. Now I just want to keep Mark Z. from doing that. If I have the sole Gmail account left in the post-apocalyptic world. As long as there is breath in my lungs... As long as there is life in my veins... As long as there are witty comebacks in my repertoire... I will never give up my Gmail!!!!

Here are few articles I found on the subject:

Here's one.

Here's another.

And another.

Oh, and one more.

Okay this is the last one.